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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Summitting Kilimanjaro - Part 3

After lunch I climbed into my sleeping bag for warmth.  I was absolutely knackered and had very little energy.  The smallest task seemed like such a big effort.  My hands weren't working properly and I was getting a little confused about what day it was.  I was tired but I knew I probably wouldn't sleep.  There was too much happening at Kibo camp, my anxiety pumping my blood full of adrenalin.  The best I could do was rest.

I took this video when I got into my tent.  I'm glad I did these videos because they show how my personality was changing.  This is what the guides are trained to recognize which could indicate cerebral edema, which could result in death.  If they see a dramatic personality change they would need to get that person down to lower altitude fast! 




Notice how small my pupils are.

I rested for about 7 hours, until 9:30pm when we got up to have something to eat and get ready  for the night summit which began at 11pm.

It was a cold, crisp, clear night.  It stopped snowing, there was a bright moon and millions of stars in the sky.  The perfect night for our ascent.

There are a few reasons to ascend Kibo at night.  One reason is mental - if you can't see where you're going, you are less likely to talk yourself out of it.  It literally tricks your mind into thinking, "it can't be much further".   It forces you to be the moment, walking one slow step in front of the other, thinking only as far as your head torch can illuminate.  I knew we would stop every hour so I kept walking, focusing my gaze down on the person's feet in front of  me.  There was no point looking up because there was no telling whether you were looking at the stars or the headlamps of other climbers.  Focusing on the person's feet in front of mine was my walking meditation.  The guides were watching for obvious signs of edema and asking, "You okay Mama?" satisfied when they got a nod and a fake smile.  They were marvelous.
Forcing my fake smile at around 3am
Another reason to climb at night is that although climbing up a mountain at night is hard, scrambling down one in the dark would be worse.  If you climb Kilimanjaro during the day in 8 hours and something went wrong, you run the risk of coming down when it's getting dark.  That's far more dangerous.

I saw a woman who had fallen when she got to the top and took quite a tumble down, leaving her face gashed and bruised from the jagged rocks.

It was very cold.  I had hand warmers in my gloves and boot warmers at my toes but they were useless.  I thought I was going to get frostbite.  Our guides and porters often didn't have gloves and if they did, they gave them away to one of us and jammed their hands in their pockets.  I even saw a porter wearing sandals on his feet without any socks.  I don't know how on earth he did it.  Those guys are the true heroes.  They climb that mountain for us and to ensure we make it to the top.  They sacrifice anything and everything for us for just a few dollars a day.  I watched one of our guides walk backwards in front of an older member of our group, giving her encouragement the whole way up the mountain.  He took personal interest in her.  It wasn't until later that he told us that she had the same name as his wife.  He was her hero on that mountain.  The thought brings a tear to my eye.

I drew within myself even more the higher we climbed.  At high altitude your body goes into survival mode.  Beyond irritability, empathy and compassion fades.  We've all heard stories of people dying on Everest and the body gets left behind.  I could never understand how anyone could do that - until now.  Of course this isn't Everest but altitude is a strange thing to explain.  When you see a person struggling and there is a guide assisting them, you carry on.  The moment you stop to put your energy into them, you compromise  your own chances of succeeding.  I found it very odd as I'm normally such a compassionate person.  Maybe it would have been different if I was climbing with someone I knew.  But as it was, this was a very private internal journey for me.  I was on this mountain for a reason.

It brought me back to being a 10 year old in the hospital where I'd lose a friend every week.  I got good at knowing who was next, just by the way they stopped fighting to live.  Once someone gives up, there is no pulling them back.  They have to have the determination to survive.  It is a harsh lesson for a 10 year old to learn but it made me understand my own fighting spirit when I re-lived that same experience on Kili.  I kept my distance from the kids that were giving up on life because I knew it would be too easy to get pulled into that negative space.  I refused to see myself as sick.  I was in the hospital to get better, not to die.


Death is easier than any of us realize - until you come so close to it you can smell it.  We all have the capability of choosing to die.  For me, that was never more evident than on Kilimanjaro.  The fatal combination of lack of oxygen, freezing cold temperatures and physical exhaustion is enough to make you close your eyes for one minute too long and slip away into unconsciousness, never to wake again.  I came close to that point up there and I was at peace with death.  It happens more often than people realize.   But this is what our guides are for.  They don't let us sleep.

William
I had angels looking after me.  I continued on the climb with Macon Dunnagan and his porter William who constantly encouraged me to keep going.   I was not a happy camper but William paid no mind to my mood and did his best to get a smile out of me every so often.  It was impossible to resist his charms.  We were so close to Gilman's Point as the sharp rock turned into big boulders which made for tricky manoeuvring.  I wanted to cry but I didn't know whether it was because my body was sore, tired or happy.  I felt nothing, not even excitement.  I was stoic.  

But I was also determined.  I set my mind on a task - to reach Uhuru.  When I say I'm going to do something, I do it.  I was climbing for all the women who fought for their life and didn't make it and the women who would be diagnosed with ovarian cancer in their lifetime.  This wasn't about me at all.

Sunrise on Kilimanjaro
I reached Gilman's Point at 5:30am.  Uhuru was still another 2 hours away along the crater rim.  It was bitter cold, the sun was yet to rise through the blanket of  cloud that nestled the mountain.  Macon, William and I forged on.  The sky turned orange as the sun peaked it's rays up over the clouds.  It was a majestic sight and I stopped to smile as it hit me.  I was standing on the roof of Africa and I was alive. 



To be continued...

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Conquering Kilimanjaro Part 2

Kibo on Day 3 -  at Cave 3 Camp
Day 4

This is when the hard work really started.  We woke up to a blanket of snow covering the mountain.   The wet snow pelting our faces as we struggled to walk (pole pole) from 4000 meters to 4700 meters.  
Kibo on the morning of Day 4
We reached Kibo camp by 2pm, that's when reality hit - I was not in Kansas anymore.  

Pole Pole in the cold wet conditions to Kibo
The weather went from bad to worse, sleeting and hailing down in all directions.  Kibo is the "hub" of Kilimanjaro where all the trampers are coming up and down the mountain from different directions.  We came via the Rongai Route which was one of the lesser used tracks.  We had only seen a few groups along the way, it was relatively quiet.  But Kibo was another story.  It was chaos!

There were groups of trampers coming and going.  Our porters were frantically trying to assemble tents and set up camp in the wet snow.  The place was buzzing with languages from all parts of the world as people had come to this place for their own personal reasons and conquests.

I was tired, cold, wet and grumpy.  I stood there taking it all in and waiting for my tent to be assembled as my bags got wetter and wetter.  I thought,  "What on earth am I doing here?"  Reality hit like a tonne of bricks.  "If that last 4 hours was hard, what the heck is tonight going to feel like?"



By the time my tent was up, it was soaking wet inside and out and totally covered in mud.  I'm not normally the precious princess type but I looked at it and thought, "You can't seriously expect me to sleep in there?"  There was a large puddle inside and wet mud smeared up the walls.

The porters are amazing and as soon as I thought it, I instantly felt ungracious.  These guys work their butts off for us for only a few measly dollars a day.  It's not their fault the weather is miserable.  They are hammering metal pegs into the hard frozen ground with rocks without any gloves on their hands and I'm complaining about the mud.

Arriving at Kibo Hut to sign in

Signing the register at Kibo
One of the guys saw the look on my face.  He got inside, mopped it up for me, gave me a smile as he took my bag and placed it inside encouraging me in after it.  I was so grateful, "Asante Sana (Thank you so much)" to which he replied, "Karibu (Welcome)" and went to help some other complaining hiker who needed their zipper fixed.  I was exhausted.  I organized my gear for the summit that night and then rested until we were called for lunch. I could have fallen asleep if I wasn't so hungry.  Whoever said altitude suppresses appetite is wrong!  I was ravenous the whole time.  

And the food was really good.  Our cooks were genius.  I still can't figure out how they did it.  Our dining tent was beautifully set for every meal.  The attention to detail was impressive.  This was not "roughing it".  This was ultimate camping.

To be continued...

Conquering Kilimanjaro Part 1

I don't know where to begin.  I just better start writing because there's just so much to say.
Standing on the roof of Africa at 5895m

I returned home to New Zealand on October 23rd after three weeks in Tanzania and a week stopover in Hong Kong.  I wasn't ready to come back, my heart remained in Africa.

It was a life changing journey and I'm struggling to find the words to express how the experience affected me.  There was the fact that I successfully climbed Mount Kilimanjaro!  I did it.  I climbed the world's highest free standing mountain!  I made it to the roof of Africa!

That experience alone was life changing.  I came down from that mountain really KNOWING who I am.  I felt invincible and a deep connection with myself at my core.  I have never felt so strong or so centered.

Something powerful happened to me on the night of the summit.  The climb leading up to Kibo was relatively smooth and easy.  The final climb before Kibo was short (just 4 hours) but tough due to the altitude rising from 4000 to 4700 meters.  The first 4000 meters were a piece of cake!  The only evidence of altitude was a sense of giddiness and perhaps a mild headache, but nothing major.  Going up to 4700 meters was where the true effects took place.  Everything was an effort and irritability was setting in.  Breathing was a struggle.  I drew within myself to preserve any energy I had.  I took this video on day 3 when I was feeling "normal" but which I now recognize as mild giddiness.



I traveled to Africa on my own to join up with a group of others to summit Kilimanjaro together.  If you've read my previous posts (see "Fun in FUNdraising"), you'll know that my year has been consumed by fundraising and training.  I let my business slide.  I let my friendships slide (lucky for me my friends were incredibly supportive).  I was totally focused on getting myself to Africa and getting to the top of that mountain!

Article from 2002
I contacted the media and shared my story with as many people as I could.  I wrote articles and submitted them to magazines, newspapers, local television and radio stations.  I started to spread the message of awareness.  It had been over 10 years since my last public speech about cancer when I was living in Canada.  I used to love speaking and spreading the message of hope.  This rekindled that inspiration within myself again.  I worked most nights until 2am, chasing up leads, writing, filling out applications and thinking of different ways to fundraise.  I've never worked so hard in my life!




My friends and clients were my main supporters.  Through them I managed to raise enough to pay for the flights and the expenses for the climb.  Local Kiwi businesses donated clothing and gear and gave me discounts on whatever else I needed.    I pretty much needed everything. My hard work was paying off.  I also had to raise $2,500 for the charity I'd be climbing with but I told them I'd have to finish my fundraising when I returned to New Zealand.  The diamond ring I had hoped would sell at auction didn't go.  I have to come up with a Plan B.

A generous client (who shall remain anonymous) offered me an interest free loan to cover any additional costs while I was away.  I was set and very blessed to have people put so much faith in me.  I have never let money stop me from following a dream and they knew that.

And now here I was living another dream, climbing a mountain that just 9 months earlier I thought was impossible.

To be continued...