Change of Plan

It's hard to believe Christmas is only 4 days away! I have to get my act in gear and wrap the presents!!! I've got most of them stored away across the street at my neighbour's place. I can't really even remember what I've got - I've been storing them and they've been building up since July.

I am really looking forward to Christmas. The girls make it so exciting - and the fact that they believe in Santa makes it even better. Brian's Uncle Roger and Aunt Christine are arriving on the 23rd with their kids - Dion, Jody and Nikki. It will be a nice Christmas with them here - and we got two turkeys this year (last year I couldn't get into the spirit and I think we ended up eating sandwiches for Christmas dinner!).

There has however, been a change in plan for the wedding. We have decided to postpone it. It was a most difficult decision but luckily it was a small wedding so it only took a few phone calls to let the guests know.

There are a few reasons for the postponement... the first being that I feel that we simply need more time. Brian was getting some cold feet (subconsciously) and we had a big fight over church. He said that he didn't want me taking the girls to church anymore. I felt like I was simply a glorified babysitter - I raise the girls through the week while he works long hours and on the weekends he rules the roost and we all have to adapt to having him home... which also means stopping what we enjoy doing and spending time at home while he watches T.V. Rubbish.

Going to church has been wonderful for the girls. He may not see it, but I do. I feel that it is my responsibility as the girls "mother figure" to introduce them to faith so that they can make an informed decision later in life. For now, church provides them with some security, stability, friendships and it feeds their wee souls. And it's precious "girl time". It's our bonding time. It would be a mistake to stop that. I stand strong in my conviction and I can't raise the girls without teaching them about God and faith. It's who I am. If he can't accept that, we have a problem.

But Brian and I are still very committed to one another and to sharing in the raising of the girls. We simply need more time to sort out these "glitches". Perhaps we'll find middle ground... or perhaps we'll just agree to disagree. But we are still butting heads over certain issues and I don't take marriage lightly. I could NOT walk down the aisle and say my vows if there are questions in my mind. I'd rather not marry.

The second issue is over Brian's parents and brother. They hate me. I wish it was as simple as that... but it's hate like nothing I've ever experienced in my life. Brian's mother was really nasty to me and even took out a trespass order on me so that I couldn't visit the girls when they lived on their farm! She made things as difficult for us as possible and physically attacked Brian on two occasions and left numerous drunken threatening messages on our phone. She just didn't want Brian to take the girls back. I was/am a HUGE threat to her. Brian's brother is just as scary - actually scarier. He threatened to financially back his parents to seek custody of the girls. He's threatened my life. Up until recently Brian's father has remained fairly neutral and relatively supportive of Brian trying to get back on his feet. But the other day he joined in the attack - leaving a threatening message on our telephone telling Brian that he wants the farm dog back that he gave him over 3 years ago (the dog was sold last year - Brian's dad didn't want him then). He claims that Brian owes them more money plus that dog... and he threatened that if Brian doesn't pay up, he'll come to collect. Brian is terrified of his father. He's intimidated by his mother and brother. They are really really scary people. I can't believe that people like that exist - but they do!! Brian has paid his mother every cent she ever "gave" him. She demanded payment when I became a fixture in his life. He paid - thinking it would get her off his back. But it hasn't... it just keeps adding up... and they keep demanding more. It's emotional blackmail and Brian keeps paying into it hoping that they'll leave him alone. I don't agree with it and I just can't support Brian's decision to continue paying them money that they find he owes them every six months or so. Enough is enough. I am NOT afraid of them. They are sad people.

Of course, it's all fueled by the fact that they no longer control Brian. His father left that message after they had tried to ring the girls on Natalya's birthday. We were out. They obviously couldn't understand that - and assumed that we were purposely not letting the girls speak to them. They were drunk. They have always told Brian that he's a loser and that he's going to mess up his girls... so subconsciously he believes it !! They are master manipulators and it's so sad for Brian and the girls who are the pawns. I'm the person they hate and they want to show how much they hate me by hurting Brian. It just makes everything that much harder for us.

But I am even more determined to be here for Brian and the girls. Honestly, I can't imagine what sort of life the girls would have if they were left in the care of their grandparents. Brian would get so lost, he'd just disappear one day. His parents wouldn't even care. They've already buried him.

Being a mother to these girls has given me a purpose. I always live by the anonymous quote that says, "In one hundred years from now it will not matter what kind of car you drive or how much money you have. What will matter is the change you make in the life of a child."

So as you see, I've got my work cut out for me. I'm not looking for easy, I'm looking for personal fulfillment. I think the potential is here... just need more time to work out the logistics. Only time will tell whether wedding bells will ring.

A Sneak Peak...

It's a gorgeous day at the pod! Summer may actually be here - just in time for Christmas! The Pohutukawa tree across the street has started to bloom this week - we've been watching it intently for weeks trying to guess who would see the first red blooms. I did! So the tree will be in full bloom for Christmas - a true New Zealand Christmas tree right outside our window.

If it's possible to feel stress because I don't feel stressed - then that's exactly how I feel. The wedding is in just a little over three weeks away and I don't feel a pang of stress. Don't get me wrong, this is exactly what I was aiming for - but I'm surprised that I feel this way.

I thought I would share a few sneak peaks at some of the accessories that I'll be wearing for the wedding - since a few of you have asked... and none of you will be here anyway.

These are my shoes...

And my funky necklace...

And the coolest bathing suit I could ever find!!!! My sister Ann will especially love this. As most of you know - due to my cancer at age 10, I was left with a really long scar down the middle of my tummy. It's never really bothered me and I've always worn bikini's despite the scar. However, since I was young I've always dreamed of finding this exact bathing suit!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately, I don't have the body I had when I was 21. I'm a bit softer in the middle (having a scar this long down the middle of your tummy doesn't help much with muscle tone)... but I still look pretty damn hot - for a 32 year old with two kids :-). This is the best find and I'm so excited about it. Not to mention the fact that it's a size XS!!! That's good for my ego.

So I'll wear this on our honeymoon. We're only planning to do some camping around the East Cape (very remote, mainly Maori populated, not many tourists, and very rugged). So perhaps not the best choice but I don't care. This suit would most certainly be suitable for a place like the Maldives... but I won't be going there this year. :-) But I will one day and this suit is damn well going to fit!

Busy December Days

Well, it's December and that means that there is A LOT going on this month! I have so much to write about and so little time to do it. Either, my blog entries are going to get long and detailed... or they will become few and far between. Since I hate stress - and writing is a form of escapism for me - I predict the former rather than the latter... but we'll just have to see. Stress is starting to creep up on me. Tomorrow it's Brian's birthday - he'll be 33! I already gave him his gift which was a PADI Open Water Dive course - so we can go diving together. There's a course on at the church tomorrow night that I didn't really want to miss - all about Methamphetamine and your teenager. I wonder if he'll think that's a nice thing to do together?

Yesterday we had a wander around to find a good spot to have the wedding ceremony. The main beaches are going to be packed at that time of the year and there happens to be a volleyball tournament on that day. There's a spot down the beach a way - in a nice grassy picnic area that overlooks the sea and has a gorgeous view of the Mount. It's sheltered and private (for a public beach) and it's a popular place for weddings. It's at the end of Hart St. so it's called the Hart Street Platform. There's a deck on the grass and a boardwalk down to it (which will be very practical for expensive wedding shoes). I just have to make sure that it's available that day. Our Vicar Marie Gilpin has also generously offered her garden if we'd like to get married there. However, it doesn't have a view of the ocean and I feel that the ocean is an important element for this wedding - because I had to cross it to get here and to find Brian and the girls - and also because my family and friends are across the ocean and it almost seems like they're not so far away looking out over it.

Oh goodness, I hope everything runs smoothly. I just have the last minute things to get ready now but there's Christmas and Natalya's birthday on the 19th... it's all starting to pile up at once. I don't even have the desire to decorate for Christmas!!! That's NOT like me! There's too much to do - and I'd rather just write about it with a cuppa tea and some Decadent cookies by my side (I've just eaten a row).

A White Christmas in Summer?

If this weather keeps up we are going to have a white Christmas. It's supposed to be summer. The weather this month has been really strange. When you wake up in the morning, the sun is shining and it looks like it's going to be a gorgeous day. By 9:30 it's clouding over and you start to wonder whether you should hang the washing out. By 11:00 it's cold and you have to change into warmer clothes. The rest of the afternoon is a total crap shoot - it could rain, it could pass, you might want to go for a swim (unlikely). Today was one of those days. I went for a walk around the Mount at 1:30 - I thought it might rain but a quarter way around the Mount, it was hot and sunny and I realized I was wearing the wrong clothes. By the time I got home I was drenched in sweat. At 4:30pm it started to rain... which then got heavier and heavier... and turned to hail! Big hail. Hurt your head kinda hail. It was fascinating. The ground was covered and the sound on the tin roof was deafening!

You know, it was actually lovely to see some white. I miss the snow believe it or not. Christmas is in 25 days and it is very difficult getting into the Christmas mood when summer is approaching. I was sewing (making some Christmas prezzies) when the hail started and for a moment - it felt like Christmas.

This was the first time the kids saw a hail storm and they were so hyper! I really want them to experience a white Christmas one day - soon... while they still believe in the magic of Father Christmas. Just look at them!

Hello???

Is anyone out there reading this? If so, why hasn't anyone left a comment for me regarding my upcoming name change (see "Tracy Pumpernickle")?? The problem with having a blog is not knowing who is reading this unless people leave me a comment when they check in. If this sounds like you... it's time to click on the "comment" link at the bottom of one of my entries and say hello! I am feeling a bit neglected. This means all of you... any of you... strangers... family... friends... Mrs. P's rellies... it excludes no one. Plus, what do you think of my new blog template? An IT friend of mine says it's a bit more confusing... what do you think?

It is certainly a weird spring season. The sun shines in the morning but by lunch time it's blustering and you aren't sure if it's going to rain or not. By late afternoon it sounds like a hurricane! The temperature is warm, but the wind is cool. You just never know what to wear.

It's just a month away from the wedding. I've gotten news from my family in Canada that no one will be attending. Ah well, I can't be too disappointed. It's a long way to go and it's the most expensive time of the year to travel. My family has never been able to turn up to any of my "milestones"... so I've always been on my own. If it's not convenient... it won't happen. That's why I've been on my own since the age of 16. But the wedding was beginning to feel as though it was getting bigger than I wanted - as I planned for my family to come. Now that they aren't going to be here, I can relax and enjoy the day without trying to live up to family expectations. I put far too much pressure on myself when they are involved. I love them dearly, but for some reason I'm not able to be myself with them. I feel scrutinized and judged. But enough of that psychobabble... my therapist has heard it all.

I am quite comfortable with my little family here - Brian, Natalya, Chantelle, Bubba and Mrs. P. At the moment Brian is working long hours so I'm feeling a bit like a single parent - but that's a sacrifice you make when you have a family. He is driving diggers and bulldozers again - a job he just loves! He leaves at 4:30am and is home by 7:00 - 8:00pm. It's crazy, we don't see him all week.

Being a single parent isn't easy. I don't know how my mom did it with five children!!! Times were different then - and I actually don't remember her being home much. She worked and we ran amuck. We were wild children with no rules. It's amazing that we all turned out so well actually. Not one of us went to prison once! Of my two, Chantelle is the wild card. She's a tough nut and very difficult to figure out. Natalya is emotional and has a conscience. She is the "tattletale" of the two... the "goody-two-shoes". Channy is quiet but she is full of mischief. She loves to irritate her sister, she is sneaky and she plays "sweet". I don't know what to think of that girl. She shows no emotion when she gets in trouble (Natalya cries and runs off to her bed)... but Channy just gives a blank stare (and lately adds a little smirk). OOOOOOHHHHHHH! Parenting is hard sometimes!

Some friends of mine are starting to think about having babies... in their early 30's. I feel so blessed because I have these two great girls (despite the above mentioned issues) who are halfway there... just a few more hard years left. I think age 8 is the worst year - before that they are still really cute (you hope). I've been told that they mellow out between 9-12 and then it gets bad again at 13. Fabulous. But still, the thought of starting from scratch now is exhausting! Brian and I will be in our early 40's by the time the girls are independent... so we'll be young empty nesters! I can hardly wait!!! I couldn't imagine doing this in my 40's. I'd have a heart attack - no question.

I love the girls - don't get me wrong. There are so many reasons I feel so lucky to have them in my life. They add richness and substance to an otherwise selfish world... and Christmas all of a sudden has meaning again. There is nothing more magical than living with a child who still believes in the magic of Santa Claus and the tooth fairy (Chantelle is the sort of child who pulls her teeth out just to get money from the tooth fairy!). I can't wait to tell her about this when she's an adult.

Children - they're a worry... but they are wonderful.

*** This blog entry was written whilst drinking a glass of red wine - I'm a very cheap date and can't handle much alcohol in my system so I feel a bit tiddly. If this entry sounds like a load of rubbish - it likely is. I'm in my fuzzy over analytical place. ***

Virtual Reality Check

I was out at the school yesterday for a kiddie function and guess who I met? Madonna! Her kids are apparently attending the school for the season. She seemed very lonely and when we were chatting, she gave me her telephone number and asked if I'd like to go over. Frankly, she seemed a bit "needy" but was much nicer than you'd think. She was just like a normal mother.

Later that afternoon I turned up at her place. It was very nice and there were lots of plush pillows everywhere - on the floors, on the sofas... all in pinks and purples and oranges. The kids played while Madonna and I chatted. She was very nice to talk to but I kept thinking how lonely she seemed. Her daughter Lordes was a lovely sweet girl but Rocco was a bit of a handful. The newest addition, David was nowhere to be seen.

At one point Guy turned up, popped his head in the door and made some sarcastic remark. I don't think they're getting along. Madonna had a few smart words with him and he was off... probably to make a movie. He seemed very snobby and didn't even say hello to me.

When it was time to go, Madonna didn't seem to want me to leave. I assured her that I would see her sometime next week. Maybe the kids can get together and we'll all go to the beach this weekend.

So now I am apparently Madonna's new best friend. I'm flattered and honoured - but I really don't know if I'll have much time to devote to this friendship. I'm quite busy looking after Mrs. P.

I wonder if I'll dream about her again tomorrow? I'm living life in the subconscious REM mind now. It's kinda like a "virtual world". Am I sad? Or sick? Or maybe just need a holiday?

Tracy Pumpernickle?

The wedding date is fast approaching. I haven't been focused on the wedding much this past month - and it's crept up on me. I have a few decisions to make... one of them happens to be the name I choose to live with for the rest of my life.

This is the chance to have your say, make a comment, leave your message. I would like anyone out there who is reading this blog (EVERY ONE OF YOU!) to leave your opinion. It will let me know who's actually reading my ramblings...

As you know, my name is Tracy Pepper. That's the name I am known by and the name I've grown up with... but it's more complicated than that. My mother is Brenda Temple and my father is Roger Gagnon. The name on my birth certificate is, "Tracy Lyn Joy Temple Gagnon". My parents were hippies.

So how did I get Pepper? Well my brothers and sisters are all Peppers. My mom married Don Pepper and had 4 children before they split up. I was a love child of the 70's... and my parents never married. So growing up, I was a member of the Pepper household. It was never an issue until I applied for my driver's licence and Social Security Number. Legally I am Tracy Gagnon. Mentally I am Tracy Pepper.

I've had an identity crisis my whole entire life! I've been waiting to get married so that I could start fresh. If I knew I wouldn't marry until the age of 32... I think I would have legally changed it years ago.

So I am about to get married and the time has come to make a decision. I am thinking about keeping my professional name Tracy Pepper - since it's on all of my professional documents and diplomas. So... should I just stay Tracy Pepper??? I can just get it legally changed. Brian won't change his name - I've already asked... "Honey, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?"

Other options are:

Tracy Lyn Joy Nicoll

or

Tracy Lyn Joy Pepper Nicoll

Tracy Pepper Nicoll has a ring to it. It kinda sounds like "Pumpernickle". Is that too weird?

I just don't know if I can imagine not being Tracy Pepper. All of my friends actually call me Tracy Pepper... never just Tracy. It's a great name. Tracy Nicoll is okay too... but it's not Tracy Pepper. If I go with Tracy Pepper Nicoll, then I can use "Nicoll" for personal stuff but I'd still have "Pepper" for legal and professional stuff.

For those of you who are married... I would like to know.... what's the benefit of changing your name? What are the drawbacks? Does it make the relationship stronger? Is it simply easier for the kids? Do you feel as though you've lost your identity? People who have married more than once change their name each time... what is that like? You're known as one person for 20 some odd years, then another for another 10-15 years, then another... what does that do to one's identity? I have SO many questions!!!!

So I'd like to know what you all think. Pepper... Nicoll... or Pepper Nicoll?

So Decadent!

I am thrilled to report that I just may have found heaven in a box! Believe it or not, but one of the many things I miss about Canada has been my favourite cookie - President's Choice Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies.

My sister sent me a packet in September but I haven't opened them - until today... I couldn't bear the thought of eating them (I can't just eat one) and have no more... so I hoard.

But the other day while I was out shopping, I spotted a nice looking box of Chocolate Chip cookies at K-mart. I was intrigued, as the cookie in the photo looked very familiar. Upon closer inspection I saw that it was also called "Australia's Choice Decadent Triple Chocolate Chip Cookie"... hmmmm, so I bought a box for further investigation. I was very sceptical.

My findings are incredible - better than expected! Mrs. P and I have now devoured two boxes of this "imposter" cookie. Very dangerous so close to the wedding... but I can't just eat one or two... I must consume an entire row of cookies before I can close the box! Why, oh why, did I have to conduct this investigation?

The evidence is conclusive - this is practically the same product! Except, dare I even say it, I think the Australia's Choice cookies may be BETTER! They have the triple chocolate chip factor going for them. But honestly, when I did a blind taste test (and I conducted many just to be sure) I really couldn't tell the difference between the two (except for the fact that the ones my sister sent from home are a little stale and crumbly from the trip over).

It's a wonderful day. Mrs. P loves these cookies and I can get her to eat three at a time!!! Unfortunately I eat the rest. I'm so glad I got a corset for the wedding... I'll need the extra support!

The one on the left is Canadian, the one on the right is Australian.

Miracles and Springtime

**** I have a Bubba update... he has miraculously pulled through! I'm not sure what has changed his condition - I wormed him, he is still getting antibiotics for the Haemobartonella Felis everyday, and his insulin dosage twice a day. Last week he finally perked up, his appetite returned and he just "plumped up". It seems he's out of the woods! He's talking again, and his personality is definitely back - a sign that he isn't feeling sick anymore. He still lays around a lot - in strange places (like the damp grass or the in the photo above, he enjoys laying on top of his catnip plant) but I think he may be losing sensation in his hind legs (a symptom of diabetes). He doesn't seem to like walking - so I have to carry him to his food. When he finishes, he "trots" to either his favourite spot on the grass or to his basket in the corner of the spare bedroom. The last few nights he has started to sleep on my pillow with me again - another good sign. But he doesn't walk... he "trots". Has anyone heard of this? ****

The weather has been so unpredictable - typical New Zealand weather. You wake up in the morning with the sun shining, blue sky... so you get dressed wearing three quarter pants and t-shirt... and when you go outside, the weather has turned cold and overcast... so you quickly change into long pants and a sweater... and an hour later it's hot and sunny again.. but it won't last...

This is Spring in New Zealand.

Mrs. P has a new carer to help share the load with me. She started this past weekend - her name is Tracy too! So that's what we call her "Tracy 2". I really like her and I think it's good for Mrs. P to have a fresh face around. It breaks up the routine a little and brings in some fresh conversation. It also gives me some time away - so that I have more to offer when I come back. I have to admit, it will be really nice to have some time on the weekend off - to actually get away to do something and not worry about rushing back.

Tracy 2 is in her early 40's (I think) and she has a 14 year old son named Nathaniel. She is originally from the U.K. and has been here in NZ for quite a while. She has a nice demeanor and friendly disposition. She is friendly and good to talk to. I think she is a good choice and I'm looking forward to knowing her better and including her in "the family". This is a family working environment and it's important that we all get along and have open communication. Mrs. P is quite capable so she really doesn't need us to treat her like an invalid - we treat her like she is our own grandmother. I don't think she would have it any other way. I certainly wouldn't either.

Haemobartonella Felis

My love, the true love of my life, my best friend and companion - Bubba - is sick. He just turned 16 in September, and I've just turned 32 in August which means I've had him for HALF OF MY LIFE! Bubba has lived a very exciting life for a cat (but if you asked him I'm sure he'd rather be an ordinary cat living in one home for 16 years). We have lived in 14 different homes in 16 years - he's lived all over Ontario, was flown to Boston for a few months, and got on a long flight all by himself to New Zealand - even stopping in Vancouver and Hawaii for a couple of days! He is a very worldly cat and speaks multiple cat languages.


I can't help but feel guilty though. Sometimes I wish I could have provided Bubba with a stable home. The long flight to New Zealand was stressful and he developed Feline Diabetes shortly afterward. He nearly died from Ketoacidosis. I was broke and homeless in a new country but I couldn't let him die... so I got out the credit card and told the vets to do whatever they needed to do. There were no guarantees that he'd live... but he did. I've never regretted my decision. That was a year and nine months ago. All of the articles I've been reading about Diabetes in cats says that the average cat lives to the age of 12-14 and a cat with diabetes lives an average of two years on proper treatment. So I suppose Bubba's done pretty well.


Since we've come to New Zealand, Bubba has been attacked by a few wild cats. He's fought back but has had a few nasty abcesses as a result. This is how I think he contracted the Haemobartonella Felis. It's also known as Feline Infectious Anaemia. It's caused by a parasite destroying his red blood cells. It is quite serious and could lead to his ultimate demise. We're treating it with antibiotics but he has become quite weak and anorexic. My big fat Bubba cat is now Fat Boy Slim.


I'm in denial... clearly. I think that he'll pull through this and fatten up and be Bubba again. His personality is still the same - he's a momma's boy and wants to be carried around like a baby. I can tell that he wants to be strong and follow me around - instead he follows me with his eyes - with that longing look saying "pick me up Mommy".


This is a tough one. Haemobartonella Felis can be treated - but it's quite aggressive treatment and costly. We've already been down that road with the Diabetes. I've already spent a small fortune on getting a diagnosis. How much can I try to prolong his life? Is it worth the stress it will cause him? Besides, the treatment will be much more complicated because of Bubba's Diabetes. It may make him sicker. It's tricky also because the symptoms Bubba is displaying could also be caused by the Diabetes advancing. It really is difficult to say which problem is causing his lethargy. You can see the shaved patches from all the blood work he's had done in the photo above. At this rate, he'll never be suitable for a rug or handbag as planned!


But it's so hard watching him fade away and not do anything when I know I could choose to do more. I wonder how he feels? Somehow I just don't think he's ready to die. I know I'm not ready to let him go. He is fading so fast... two weeks ago he was normal old Bubba... the king of the cats... the pride of the household... and the talk of the town. He's the most popular cat I've known. And he's MY BUBBA.

Just look at that face

Grandaddy Crayfish

Last week Brian went fishing. There were no fish to be caught so he threw on some dive gear and decided to have a look for some ocean creatures. It was the fishing derby at the fishing club and Brian was certainly not going to return empty handed! So he hunted and hunted... like a good hunter does... and look what he came up with!!! He found a cave but his tank wouldn't fit so what does he do? He took his tank off, swam in, put the tank back on, and saw that he was in Crayfish heaven! Apparently there was a bigger one but he could not get at it. This photo really doesn't do it justice. Regardless, it was the biggest cray brought in - and he's leading for the trophy! He came home at 10pm after celebrating... drunk... and wanted to cook him... but we didn't have a pot big enough and the Grandaddy Crayfish was showing no signs of dying - he was a fighter! I thought he was far too beautiful to kill and convinced (actually TOLD) Brian that he had to let him go. Brian was gutted... but he and I walked down to the beach together and gave Grandaddy Crayfish a second chance. I sure hope he found a suitable home... and that he's still out there somewhere. Brian is sure that he has found his way home by now. That's a nice thought.

He woke the kids up to show them "daddy's big cray"

Guy Fawkes Who?

Well here's a tradition we don't hear much of in Canada... it's called Guy Fawkes Day and it is celebrated on November 5. If you ask me, it's a strange thing to celebrate. This fellow "Guy Fawkes" tried to blow up parliament in 1605... and was unsuccessful. So what to do?? Make a holiday about it! I've just Googled it and discovered that it is celebrated in Newfoundland - who knew? Bloody Newfies... it's no surprise... any reason to drink and blow things up.

Mrs. P's son Phil stepped in to give me a much needed night off so that Brian and I could take the girls to the Speedway at Blue Chip Stadium. Our friends Rob and Sharyn came out too. The girls had never been in such a crowd of people and Chantelle's eyes were wide and her mouth open just about the whole night!

We had a blast, watching the different car rallies. There was mud flying and even the occasional crash! Afterward we got to enjoy the magnificent fireworks display to celebrate Guy Fawkes. We had a really great family night - thank you Phil.

My routine at the Pod

I'm posting my schedule online for those of you who would like to know what my job consists of. A number of my friends back home in Canada are fascinated with Mrs. P and want to know how my culinary skills are getting on. You'll be pleased to know that almost a year after starting this job... I have gotten the hang of cooking quite appetizing pureed meals! If I could have a baby - he'd get the best homecooked gourmet baby foods!

This is how my day unfolds:

6am - Brian is up for work

7am - I crawl out of bed and Brian makes me something to eat and has a cuppa coffee waiting (well... sometimes).

7-7:30 - I take Mrs. P the newspaper and make her a cuppa tea and bread with butter and honey. She reads the paper in bed. I go back downstairs to get the girls organized for school. They leave at 8:30 on their bikes, if it's raining I drive them.

8-8:30 - I make Mrs. P's porridge - smooth, no lumps with a dollop of stewed prunes on top (homemade of course) and serve it to her in bed. Then I either vacuum, dust or tidy up. Sometimes I have a shower - sometimes I wait until my break after lunch.

9-9:30am - Help Mrs. P with her shower. She needs very little help but I wash her feet and her hair when she does it. I make her bed (or strip it). This is really "our" time. It's the best part of my day. We chat about personal things - it's a very intimate ritual. I ALWAYS make sure to moisturize Mrs. P's entire body. I'm very proud of the fact that her skin glows and feels so soft... for a woman of her age. I take great care of her feet as well. When I first came on the scene, she had a number of overgrown toenails and a few fungal infections under the nail bed. I have reversed all of that. She has the most gorgeous feet... and I tell her that everyday!

10-10:20 - I put on a load of laundry, Mrs. P does her hair and face. Sometimes I run downstairs to hang out washing. When that's finished I make us both a cuppa tea and a biscuit (cookie). We watch the workers across the street and talk about what they are doing or we watch the ships come and go or we talk about anything exciting in the newspapers. This would also be the time I'd do Mrs. P's nails.

I use this time to do things that I have to do - like tidy up downstairs, sweep the deck, go out to run some errands occasionally or update my blog. This would also be the time we would go to the bank or a make a doctor's appointment if we needed.

11:30am - I ask Mrs. P what she would like for lunch. It depends on the weather or how hungry she feels. Today I made her mashed kumara (sweet potato), pureed spinach and pumpkin and topside mince (ground beef) with sauteed onions in an onion gravy. It was very successful and she ate most of it! I'm not always so lucky.

12pm - Mrs. P watches the news at noon while I prepare lunch.

12:30-1pm - I serve Mrs. P her lunch and sit with her while she eats it.

I have a break between 1:30pm-4pm but this varies from time to time (sometimes Mrs. P lets me go at 1pm and sometimes I'm up here until 2:30). Sometimes I don't take a break - such as the day I took Mrs. P to Fashion Island. More often than not, she will have visitors at this time.

Sometimes I am exhausted and I have a nap until the girls come home at 3:30.

3:30pm - Girls are home from school - pandemonium! Bags everywhere, loud voices, food, food, food, starving, starving, starving!!!

4pm - Cuppa tea time! Mrs. P likes to have a piece of cake or a ginger kiss. I'll also try to sneak in a chocolate calcium snack - but she loves her cake! The girls will often come upstairs to visit Mrs. P (and to have cake too) and I'll help with homework.

The afternoon is much less regimented and more relaxed. I can spend more time downstairs (and I have to because the girls would make a bloody mess if I didn't!).

5:30 - Brian's home! He comes upstairs to tell Mrs. P about his day. He usually gets her a glass of wine and has a beer with her. She enjoys his company - and it's a nice break for me.

6pm - Evening news. Brian or I start dinner (usually Brian - he's a great cook). The girls have a shower and get into their jammies.

6:30pm - I ask Mrs. P what she'd like for supper. Usually she wants something light - pumpkin soup, mashed banana with custard, etc.

7pm - Mrs. P is served dinner and I go downstairs to eat mine with the family.

8pm - Kids go to bed and I come upstairs.

8:30-9pm - I help Mrs. P to bed.

9:30-10:30pm - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

That's a typical day here in the pod. Of course it varies according to who's around and which family members are in town. Sometimes a family member will offer to do lunch or dinner - which is WONDERFUL! But Mrs. P's digestive system is so sensitive and she is very fussy about food that it's really difficult to please her. It's a crap shoot. Sometimes she'll eat something and LOVE it... and if you give it to her another day it may set off her reflux! She gets a nutritional supplement beverage everyday which has all of the necessary vitamins and minerals that she needs - so really, food is a bonus. She hates food. It's such a bother for her to eat. She doesn't want to offend anyone who brings her food - so she may hide things in a napkin and throw it away. So the family members who tell me how much she LOVED something they gave her - you should check her napkin first!

I've also discovered that consistency is key. People have been very sweet, offering all sorts of great advice and fantastic recipes to try - but the less experimentation the better. I've learned to do what works - and I stick to it. If she has a bout of reflux - she is afraid to eat for days afterward. It's just not worth it. So, her diet may be terribly boring, but it's working. I try to keep it as varied as possible but it doesn't change much from week to week.
I do the morning routine 7 days a week. At the moment I have two women who relieve me for Monday afternoon from 4-9pm and Tuesday afternoon from 1-9pm. I'd rather have Fridays and Sundays off but it's difficult finding carers who are available those days. Friday nights Brian and I enjoy going dancing and Sundays would be good days for the family. But for now we accept what we've got and we are grateful. At least we are here at the beach - it's not such a terrible spot to be. We adapt. On the weekends, Brian may spend more time upstairs with Mrs. P which gives me a break anyway.

The hours are definitely long - and the job doesn't allow us to get away on weekends but the way I see it, it has given us security and a family. That's definitely a bonus for a girl who has left her own family thousands of miles away and has an evil mother-in-law! I love Mrs P and she loves us.

Hope this hasn't bored you to tears! It's hard to believe this "Gypsy girl" has become so domesticated isn't it? For someone who has operated her own business for 10 years and worked my own hours - I'm doing quite well in a strict routine! I think it's been good for me in a number of ways.... but I'll save that for another blog entry!

A Kiwi Halloween

Well I've just celebrated my first Halloween in New Zealand. Wow... it was very different from home. Of course, it's spring here so being from the Northern Hemisphere, I think of Easter and Bunnies. It's harder getting into the Halloween spirit without dark cold nights and leaves crunching under your feet (or if you're from Northern Ontario - snow). We also don't have big orange pumpkins here - and if we did, this wouldn't be the time of the year for them. So there are no jack o'lanterns glowing in every driveway... and hardly a Halloween decoration in sight!

Our church put on a "Saints and Angels" party for the kids. We had games and a bouncy castle and a sausage sizzle. The kids came dressed in costume - there were lots of fairy princesses and angels!

I was happy to see a few vampires and witches too, and even a little Robin


Hood. I dressed up as a Scarecrow/Clown.

It was a fun afternoon. We finished up there at 7pm and the girls asked if they could go trick or treating... they'd never done it before! How could I say no? I can't believe they've missed out on it for so long! Unfortunately Chantelle was grounded so she had to miss out... and dad wouldn't back down... so I took Nat out for a bit.


Let me tell you all about it! I've never in my life experienced this before! First of all, there are very few kids in our neighbourhood. It's mostly retired people or summer homes... so there weren't many people home and it was difficult knowing which houses to go to. So we just went door knocking... first stop, our next door neighbour Raewyn... we knew she'd have some goodies! Next we stopped at Ned's house (he's a boy who lives a few doors down), his mum was bound to have something (though she is a bit of an odd one)! Nat rang their bell and Ned's mum answered. She thought it was all very cute and she TOOK candy out of Nat's basket for Ned!!!! I couldn't believe it! Luckily we had put some smarties and chips in Nat's basket as decoys (for people to know what we wanted). Then she went away and returned with a Kiwi fruit, $2.20 and a firecracker!!!! How hilarious is that? I was thinking... "if the next house gives us drugs, we're going home." The rest of our street was a lost cause. People weren't home or just weren't answering their doors... but we got a few honks as we walked down the street and a few "thumbs up" from other parents. We made our way over to my friend Naomi's house (we brought candy for her two kids).... she grew up in England so she would surely have candy - plus she has two kids! Well, we got two lemons... literally. She gave Nat lemons! So now we have a basket with a Kiwi fruit, two lemons, $2.20, a few candies and a firecracker. It was the weirdest loot I've ever seen.

On our way home we saw another kid and his mom out trying to do the same. They had been out since 6pm (remember we didn't start till nearly 7:30). They advised us to drive over to the neighbourhood nearer to the school - there were a lot more kids there. So off we went... but by this time it was dark and it was still really hard to know where to go. The houses all had their lights off. I drove around until I saw a group of kids and parents. Nat hopped out and got some candy with them at a few houses. Then we made one more stop at Todd and Linda's (Raewyn's son)... and came home.

Nat was pooped and so was I... driving around looking for a place to get your kid free candy is MUCH harder than walking around the block carrying a pillow case.

A History of the Now

I had such a lovely Sunday - even though the weather has been grey and drizzly. What is this "summer" they are talking about?

The girls and I went to church as usual. You see, I grew up Catholic and went to Catholic school. I've always taken it for granted - until now - because now I have children and realize how valuable faith is. Plus, it gives children a good foundation instilling morals and values that are lost in society today. We have been attending St. Mary's Anglican church. It has a great Sunday school program. The girls really enjoy it. Our Vicar, Rev'd Marie Gilpin will be marrying us. She's so lovely and fun.

So yesterday was a special service run by the young people in the congregation. They did a great job - thanks to Bonnie! One of the songs that was chosen to be played during the service was that of my dear friend Monica. It brought tears to my eyes to hear her voice in my church - I felt like she was right there. I miss Monica. She is one of my most cherished friends. Her support, her praise, her encouragement, her positivity, her energy, her wisdom, her love... are paramount to my faith today. I adore that girl. Her song, "Deny my right" was the chosen piece for our service. The link to her website is listed on the right... check it out. She has written and composed all of her own music. There is such power in her words and beauty in her voice. It's a great album to have... and a fantastic Christmas gift!

I've finally gotten around to sharing my link with a number of you who I haven't been in touch with for a long time! I've had a few emails requesting a bit of some back dated history - like who's Brian? Where's the girls mother? How'd you get the job with Mrs. P? Are you still doing Massage?

So here's a short update:

I met Brian in March 2005 after I moved to Mahia. I was working in the pub and he was farming nearby. It was love at first sight for him - he was so smitten. The first thing he said to me was, "Are all girls in Canada as good looking as you? Cause if they are, I'm going to Canada!" He was as drunk as a skunk. He made me laugh... but I thought he was rather obnoxious. From there a friendship pursued. He asked me to go to the Wairoa Rodeo - and was really surprised I said yes! Brian used to be a Rodeo Rider - he rode Broncos. He was so nervous... he went and got drunk! Great second impression... but he still made me laugh. I made it quite clear to him early on that I was NOT looking for a relationship... but in time I realized it was too late. I was smitten too.

Brian lost his wife three years earlier of complications from her second liver transplant. She was only 28. Brian raised the girls on his own basically but after Kay died, his mother took them. It was too difficult to work farming hours and raise kids in the country.

In June 2005, Brian got a job on a farm in Cambridge so I went with him. The girls stayed with his parents until we got ourselves settled. In October, Brian put his hand through a glass partition on our deck and severed four tendons to his right hand. He lost his job.

Luckily I got offered this job looking after Mrs. P three days later! She needed a full time carer to look after her at her beach house in Mount Maunganui and we needed a place to live. So we live in her downstairs flat, and she lives upstairs. It's ideal for all of us. The girls came to live with us full time at Christmas last year - the beginning of summer holidays.

It has been such a blessing. We have all flourished here and have found the place we want to be. We love Mrs. P... she is our family. She has given us security and love and we will always be so grateful. But it's been good for her too - because having a young family around keeps her young too. She LOVES having the girls here - giving her kisses at night after their bath. Even just having them do puzzles on her living room floor gives her pleasure.

So no, I haven't been doing ANY massage therapy (except on Mrs. P's hamstring and Brian's tendons). This job and the girls keep me too busy.

Brian's recovery has been slow but he's not the sort of man to sit around. He has been trying hard to get back to work - he got all of his heavy machinery licences while he was recovering, he learned the stone masonry trade (he has done some incredible work privately for local builders) and at the moment he is painting a house. He is good at everything! Plus, he's a fabulous cook and keeps a tidy house!!! AND he's got a green thumb - you should see our veggie garden. I'm pretty darned lucky. He's good looking too...



We're a mighty good looking family aren't we? It's rather uncanny how the girls can easily pass as mine. No one questions it - and everyone comments on how much Chantelle resembles my family (she looks so much like my niece Meagan). But there are similarities between Brian's late wife and myself - except she had lovely curly dark hair.

There are no accidents. Here I am blessed with a family I have always dreamed of. Even though I can't have children of my own, I ALWAYS knew I would have a family. I had faith and I just KNEW I would be a mom. No one can tell me that a natural mother has more love for her children than I do for these girls. It's incredible how life can fall into place when you follow your dreams and your heart.


And here's our garden - which has grown substancially since this photo was taken! We'll have plenty of of veggies for salads this summer - which is great because our summer meals consist of salads and BBQ!!! Yum!

So who's coming to the wedding?

You say Mummy, I say Mommy

The girls have started calling me "Mom" this week. They've used the term before, but it was always just to see how it felt and was still a bit fun and strange to them (and me). But this week we seem to have reached a new level. A few weeks ago I told them that perhaps they'd want to call me "Mom" which is how Canadians say it. They started out by making me cards - To Mom.

They are very loving girls and they shower me with hugs and kisses constantly. It's these moments that they use the endearing term. Channy calls me Mummy. When they returned home from school this week, they both presented me with flowers they picked along the way, gave me huge hugs and said, "I love you Mom."

So this is why people have children. Now I know.

Magic Hands

Mrs P says she feels like an All Black. She's resting from a hamstring strain. I think she's rather proud to tell people, "Oh, it's just my hamstring, how boring." But she is delighted to have a professional on hand to give her a proper rub down everyday and we are sure to keep the leg mobile with stretching and flexion exercises. I'm using my Chinese tincture to warm the muscles - my dear clients from home would remember that stuff well. I hope you've found a therapist who uses something similar. It's the best stuff on earth. My "magic" potion. Mrs P tells me I have Magic Hands... that's a good name for a business.

I have to admit, it's nice to get back to doing what I do best... working with the body. It's hard to believe I've been at it for nearly 12 years - this is definitely the longest break I've taken from it since I started in 1995. It makes me feel so useful.

The toughest thing about trying to explain to people what I do (or DID in Canada) here is the fact that people don't understand how valuable Massage Therapists are for wellbeing. It's like a 20 year time warp. I had such a good reputation in my community back home - and it's like I have to prove myself here. But I am confident in my skills. It's just a matter of time before I have a following. It's so strange to think that so many people are missing out on such a wonderful form of overall healthcare - just from pure ignorance.

So today I am a MASSAGE THERAPIST! Hear me ROAR!

Big Brother

For those of you interested in checking out what's happening at the Mount, or what the waves are doing (for those of you who are keen surfies), or want to try to catch a glimpse of me shopping at Bayfair... you'll enjoy the cameras that are set up at various spots around the Mount.

It's all a bit strange thinking that people are watching all the time but perhaps knowing that my dear ones are getting a glimpse of me (albeit picking my nose or doing something else terribly embarrassing) makes it kinda okay.

I'm slowly getting the hang of using the features on this Blog - such as links (to allow you to click on a word which will take you directly to the website mentioned). There's still a lot to learn though!

God Has Great Taste

I don't know why I let myself get all stressed out about finding the right dress for the wedding. I compared dress shopping to finding the right man... and really it's so true. But one thing I've learned is that when you have found the right one - you don't have eyes for anything else.

The dress I have chosen is NOTHING like the vision I had in my mind. I was really surprised at how easy it all came together. There's a New Zealand designer I love - called Annah Stretton. I walked into her store at the Mount and knew that I wanted one of her designs. You can check out some of her stuff at www.annahs.co.nz

Not only are her pieces fun, funky, romantic and flirty - but I support the charities that she supports. I'd love to meet her one day and tell her what a great job she is doing. She lives in a small town near Hamilton called Morrinsville - I almost took a Massage Therapy job there! I could've been her Massage Therapist!! But I digress...

I have chosen a two piece ensemble, which I thought was VERY practical (even though it cost the earth). The skirt is a three quarter length wrap skirt with panels in different fabrics of the same shade of gold/cream. It's rather hard to explain. It can be worn 4 different ways - which changes the look and fabric. I will be able to wear it again and again - and because it's a wrap, I'll never get too fat or too thin. Plus, it's a timeless piece that I can easily wear on our 20th wedding anniversary and not look silly.

I chose a cream coloured corset - again with panels of different fabrics of the same shade. It has four panels of dark dusty rose velvet on the front bodice and I've added some detail work with a thin gold ribbon I found at a local shop so that it ties in with the skirt better. I will be able to wear the corset with jeans later. SO PRACTICAL... but also SO expensive!

I also got a really funky necklace from Annah S. to tie it all together. It's nothing I'd ordinarily buy... but it looks so good with the outfit. I'm not sure how much wear I'll get out of it again though.

I feel wonderful knowing that it is a one of a kind design - and no one else in the world will have a dress like this. Annah S. designs are all different - no two are the same. The corset is the only one in the country - and they had to ship it up to me from Queenstown! I feel so gorgeous in this dress. It's kinda like 50's meets 80's Madonna... if you can picture that.

I've found my flower too - it's the coolest thing I've ever seen! It's called a King Protea. I will only need one as my bouquet. You can see it here http://protea.worldonline.co.za/sugar7.htm

It's weird how everything has come together so easily and hassle free. We haven't had to leave the Mount for any of our wedding shopping! Even Brian's outfit came from a local menswear shop here - and everything we chose for him happened to be on sale! I swear, that wasn't planned. I would have gladly paid full price for anything that was "perfect". I like a good sale, but I also like quality. I'd never skimp on something important. But it's like God wanted me to have my dress - and so he made everything else on sale so that it all evens out! Thank you God.

God has great taste.

I wish everyone I knew could be here for this wedding. I've completed the Wedding Vows and the Ceremony. It's going to be such a special day for all of us and how I wish I could share it with my dearest friends from home. I'm still waiting to see if my Mom and sisters are going to make it. It's not looking promising. But it's a long way to come and I understand why they couldn't make it. It will be much simpler keeping it small and intimate.

I am so looking forward to December 30th!

Big Fish

We are watching a pod of dolphins playing in the harbour. There are about 20 of them, jumping and chasing boats. It's the most exciting scene and some people stripped down to jump in the frigid water to try to swim with them (they weren't interested in playing with the humans). Still, I think it would have been exhilerating - and not just because the water would be SO cold! I wasn't brave enough to try... I was happy to watch from the beach.

This is one of the highlights of my life in New Zealand - this is one of the reasons I love this country so much... well that AND Brian.

I'm such a simple Canadian girl - big fish excite me.

I had another productive Wedding planning day today... while I was out running some errands for Mrs. P, I happened to spot two dresses on the "SALE" rack (of course) on the sidewalk. I stopped in my tracks - they were absolutely perfect for the girls! They fit too! And for $45 I couldn't buy the fabric to make them! So that's another task done.

Brian and I went out for dinner at the RSA last night. We wanted to check the place out before the wedding of course. I am so delighted we chose it! The meal was lovely and the atmosphere was ideal for our big night. There's a large dance floor and the music isn't too loud. Everything they play is music you can dance to - real dancing - waltz, fox trot, line dancing... you name it... they play it. We were the youngest couple there but it didn't matter. We made friends with a couple in their late 60's who are "dating". They have a very active social life - dancing on Wednesdays at the Cosmopolitan Club and dinner and dancing on Fridays at the RSA (sometimes Saturday too). They were really fun and we've invited them to the wedding! Judith is going to do our photography!!! Brian reckons we're getting old and the RSA is more our speed now. He even asked me to dance! It's the best date we've ever had. We smiled from ear to ear all night.

We are far from old - but we are certainly past the loud bars and clubs. Even the loud and expensive restaurants are exhausting. At the RSA people will ask if they can join you and new friendships are made. Men will ask a lady to dance, regardless of age (or who they're sitting with). If you aren't dancing with someone - you're fair game. It was so much fun! Why don't we do more of that in our generation?

So now if you want to find Brian and I - we'll be at the RSA dancing.

Retail Therapy is Good

Today was such a wonderful day! Mrs. P and I had a big day out... I took her to the new shopping complex in Papamoa called "Fashion Island". It's a marvelous mall - with so many shops! Mrs. P was dazzled. I had to pick up the shoes I ordered for the wedding... that was the start of another shopping frenzy... and Mrs. P was the instigator of it all!!! I saw ANOTHER pair of shoes... very lovely and slightly dressier than the first... and a shade of gold closer to the shade of gold in my skirt. Very practical... AND they were ON SALE! My friends tell me that I am like a Bloodhound when it comes to sales. I've got a nose for it.

Next we had a nosey in Portmans - which is like a more upscale shop for dressy work clothes and nice summer dresses and skirts. Mrs. P wanted to have a look around to see what the fashion is this season. My Bloodhound instinct took over and we quickly found some items on sale... outrageously marked down! Mrs. P found a gorgeous lace bolero for Christmas (down from $80 to $20) and we also found her a nice blue skirt in fashion with the season (and marked down from$120 to $60). "I have to have it!" she said to the shop girl. She was so delighted with her purchases. The shop girl gave her a complimentary locket which was very generous.

I spotted a nice white wrap around dress - on sale of course - down from $150 to $60! I didn't "need" it but it went so well with the new shoes I bought that I didn't need either... and let's not forget that they were all on sale... so that's kinda like "free". Besides Mrs. P thought it was so elegant and suited me so well... so I had to have it too. I couldn't disappoint Mrs. P.

We certainly earned ourselves a cuppa tea so we headed over to BB's Cafe for Devonshire Tea. It was a wonderful end to a really fun day. Mrs. P said she felt like a young woman again. There's really nothing like some retail therapy to keep you youthful. I think we'll have to make a habit of this. I've hidden my purchases upstairs at Mrs. P's... away from Brian. He just won't understand that I did it all for Mrs. P's pleasure... honest. I wouldn't want to do anything to jeopardize my job Honey... ;-)

Time off - empty nesting

Rosie is here and I've got some time off! It's already Wednesday (two days left until I get back to Mrs. P) and it's been such a busy week!

The girls are away for the school holidays - so we have a quiet house. It's really nice, but we're also a bit lost. It takes Brian and I a couple of days to adjust to being childless - we have no one to boss around so we tend to try to boss each other around! It doesn't work very well.

Today's been a great day though - Brian had the day off and we went out for breakfast at our favourite cafe called "Jett". They serve BAGELS! It reminds me so much of home. Bagels aren't a main breakfast or snack here like they are in North America. As we were walking home we stopped at a local jeweller to check out wedding bands for Brian. He didn't want a ring at first... but changed his mind. We found him a ring today! I'm so excited!!

We've spent the remainder of our day over at our dear friends, Rob & Sharyn's. Brian is building them a veggie garden. They're thrilled and we're having a great afternoon doing it. Sharyn, Sophie (their daughter) and I went out to pick the veggies while the guys got the timber and the soil. It's just about finished now. How exciting.

Brian's a great gardener and he's put in an awesome garden at our place. We'll have lots of stuff for salads at Christmas.

Bubba's been at the vet for the past couple of nights. His diabetes is back and they are trying to adjust the insulin dosage. It'll be managable and luckily we discovered it before he got really sick like last year. He'll be fine - just need to stick him twice a day.


Hmmm, what else can I say? Well the weather has been great this week. It's like summer and we all hope it will continue! The Mount is getting busy... it's quite different from winter.

Tomorrow Brian's Aunt Chris arrives. I am going to make some final decisions on my wedding dress this week. Stay tuned.

Dress Shopping Blues

Trying to find the right wedding dress is much like finding the right man... you try some on... sometimes you try dozens on at a time. Some of them are really nice, some would do just fine with a few minor alterations, some look great but are they appropriate?

I'm totally stressed out. I feel under the weather and I have a bladder infection. This is what dress shopping is doing to me! Yesterday I decided to stop looking until the summer season dresses come out... but today I took my neighbour Raewyn to have a look at what I've already been "thinking about". Big mistake. I found even MORE! So now I'm even more confused than before.

Just like men - when do you stop and just choose one? Or do you wait until next season? There are just so many choices.

Luckily I am fairly certain that I don't want another man... for now. The one I've got will do. We've been through the hard bits of a relationship - I've got him to succumb to my molding without much fight anymore. He's a smart man - just succumb Honey, otherwise I'll try on some more dresses!

As you can tell, I'm feeling a bit grumbly. I'm tired and have a lot on my mind. I haven't had a day off in 12 days and I feel badly because I've been so busy running the girls to their after school activities and Mrs. P is feeling neglected. I need a clone. She can find my dress and drive the children everywhere. I'd love to just sit and have a cuppa tea.

I wish my sisters were here. This is exactly why God gave us sisters - to talk about boys and to help find a dress.

Gardens and Celebrants

It's a very blustery day. Frank and Natalie are here and Natalie is putting in her new miniature Pohutukawa bushes on their new deck. Mrs. Peacocke and I have just finished our morning cuppa tea and we were debating on whether to brave the wind and run a few errands... we've decided not. Tomorrow's another day.

I've booked an appointment for Mrs. P to meet with a dietition this week. Perhaps we'll get some ideas on what she would be best to eat. She gets so fed up with food and it's difficult finding things that are palatable.

I am on the search for a Marriage Celebrant. I've looked in the yellow pages but how do you know who to call? I'd much rather have someone I know - or someone who knows someone we know. You know?

Other than that, it's a pretty ordinary day. We are looking forward to the warmer weather. Brian just put in a nice vegetable garden in the back. We've planted lots of lettuce, tomatoes, potatoes, celery, carrots, spring onions, radishes, strawberries, courgettes and cucumbers. We'll be eating well this summer!

Welcome to our Blog!

I can't believe it's taken me so long to start one of these! This would have saved me so much time (and lost emails). But better late than never. I've already done all of my major travelling... I'm not the transient I once was... but once a traveller, always a traveller. I am temporarily "grounded" by this job but I needed some grounding! It gives me a chance to embrace my new role in life - full time Mummy and Wife (almost)! Life is going quite well. I have been living here in Mount Maunganui for almost 10 months (and that's a LONG time for this girl!) still caring for dear Mrs. P. I have recently set a date to get married to my partner Brian on December 30th 2006. His two girls (Natalya age 9 and Chantelle age 8) are going to be my little bridesmaids. I should say "our" two girls... because they are.

I love living here at the Mount. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else right now. Life is simpler and I couldn't be more grateful. This is how it's all meant to be. I'm so over the hustle and bustle of busy life. I can't believe it once used to fuel me. I was addicted to it. I was also addicted to consumerism. I'm such a different person today.



As I write this I am looking out of our picture window upstairs (at Mrs. P's place) overlooking the harbour. There's a great big palm tree in the centre of my view and sailboats are swaying in the breeze. There's a fishing boat heading out to sea to catch it's quota for the day. It's overcast today but it doesn't distract from the view. It's lovely no matter what the weather.

I will now keep everyone up to date on my new experiences at being a "mum" to an 8 year old and 9 year old. Brian and I were watching Super Nanny last night and we realize just how lucky we are to have two well behaved girls. But we often wonder if we are too strict. Both of us have similar parenting styles (thank goodness!) and we run a pretty tight ship around here. We notice that other kids seem to have less rules - but then again they are little brats! On the other hand, we want the girls to have a lot of freedom. So when other parents are driving their kids to school everyday or taking them to the park or beach (which is across the street), we have our girls ride their bikes all by themselves and go on their own. Some of our friends think we're mad. But we want the girls to be independent. Sure there are a lot of crazy people out there - but who wants to live in fear? I certainly don't. I think we're raising a lot of fearful children who won't have the courage to leave home or travel around the world! I want these girls to have the same kind of life experiences that I've had. Freedom is such a necessity. We are all claiming that we live in a free country - yet we're chained up by fear. It's ruling our lives and how is that going to affect the next generation?


And I also thought it would be fun to write about all that happens here with Mrs. P. She's a box of birds and shares so many stories with me and I really feel like I should share them. She's just gotten her first laptop (at age 94) and I am trying to teach her how to use it and explain to her how the internet works (she can't understand why I'm using her computer when I have my own... and I am trying to explain how the internet works and how it doesn't matter who's computer I use). This will be good for her... good for us. It can get a bit boring sitting up here all day. I hope one day she'll write a blog entry herself!

I hope you all enjoy our stories.