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Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Camp is where the HEART is!

When I am away at camp, I take on a completely different personality. It's my "camp persona". There's just something about camp and being around the kids that transforms me into Peter Pan - and I never want to grow up. I love it and I hate it all at the same time. I love the high I get... because I can let go and be my crazy self... without feeling incredibly nuts (because everyone expects me to be a bit nutty at camp). The kids let their guards down too which I absolutely love.

The one thing I hate about it is that I can't switch back and forth between "crazy camp Tracy" and "normal, clever, business person Tracy". It's one or the other... and crazy camp Tracy is a lot more fun. Luckily I don't often need to be normal at camp so it's all good. It's exhausting though... and I'm thankful it's just for a week because it's hard work!

This was my first year at CanTeen National Camp. I was super excited to be a Volunteer and get the chance to see how camp here might be different from Ooch back home. Of course Camp Oochigeas is a two week summer camp for children ages 6-18 whereas CanTeen is for teenagers aged 14-24 so there will be obvious differences. One of the main differences is that Camp Ooch is staffed entirely by volunteers... and for that reason, the organization can use funding to make camp as pleasant and healthy as possible for the volunteers and the campers. The food was always pretty amazing at Camp Ooch... because kids with cancer need a balanced diet. I'm not saying CanTeen wasn't pleasant or healthy, but the standard wasn't quite as high.

CanTeen staff are paid to be at camp (what a fantastic job!) and they have a handful of volunteers. For this reason, the budget is a lot tighter and funding has to be used for necessities and transportation. CanTeen National Camp brings teenagers from across the country together which means flying most of them to the site. That's gonna cost a lot of moola! Let's not forget that Camp Ooch is the only camp in Ontario (or is it Canada?) that offers on site chemotherapy... and is strictly for kids with cancer. So even kids in the middle of treatment can still make it to camp. CanTeen is for survivors, patients, siblings of patients and survivors and bereaved siblings. I love the concept of BOTH camps. I couldn't choose one that I liked better. They are both critical to the support and development of kids who are affected by this killer disease.

When I was diagnosed in 1985, both Camp Ooch AND CanTeen were both starting up on opposite sides of the globe. Ooch was started in Toronto and CanTeen in Australia. Unfortunately, I was diagnosed in the early stages of the whole "support network" so I missed out. I didn't discover how wonderful Camp Ooch was until I was 16... but that was only two weeks during summer. CanTeen is a year round support network which meets once a month. I really could have benefited from that.

As an adult, I benefit. I get so much out of being a volunteer - which is why I feel so blessed. While I was away at camp, I got to meet most of the campers and I learned a little bit about how cancer has affected them. It humbles me each and every time and this is what propels me to do it. I know that I am lucky to be alive but I often take my life for granted... and volunteering reminds me to be grateful. When I was sick, I was given experimental chemo. I was part of a clinical trial. I WAS the clinical trial. The list of side effects was long - deafness, brain damage, lung failure, kidney damage, chronic depression, infertility, memory loss, death... yet here I am 24 years later with what I'd consider minor issues. But I have NEVER been offered support or counselling. I've dealt with it all on my own. This is why I am so strong. Support would have been nice... but I never knew it was out there. I am just happy to be alive.

For this reason, I can really bond with these kids (I call them "kids" but I realize they are actually young adults - but I think of us all as "kids" so I use the word loosely. In this photo I am transforming a senior CanTeen member, Sean, into Seana for the Marty Casey concert). There is a camaraderie between cancer survivors... it's a private club... and you have to have had cancer to get in. I've had co-counsellors at Ooch who have had "cancer envy" because they can't get into this club. CanTeen is a little different because there are siblings there as well. Frankly I wish my own siblings had more support when I was sick. I know it was hard on them - in some ways I think MY cancer affected them worse than it affected me. I got all of the attention... they were left at home alone while our mom took me to Toronto every month for chemo. They just wanted life to get back to normal. It was a really tough time for our family. It would have been great if they had some support. Maybe we'd all be a lot closer now. In this aspect, cancer IS contagious. My whole family had cancer but I was the only one who got flowers and was excused from school.

As an adult, I can clearly understand what these "kids" are going through. I can understand what the families are coping with. I realize that things aren't always what they seem. Behind closed doors, people fall apart, they say terrible things they don't mean, they find ways to cope which might not be healthy and they feel helpless. Then when the chemo is finished and life is supposed to return to "normal", there is residual guilt, possible addiction and often unresolved resentment. This is why there's CanTeen... and this is why I am so passionate about it.

Needless to say, I had an amazing week at camp. I was in my element. I was reminded just exactly why I survived. This is what I was born to do. I'm a camp junkie. The week was jam packed with activities and games. I met some amazing people - both staff and campers - who will surely become lifelong friends. Oh and I got to meet Marty Casey - the runner up for INXS Rock Star who came to camp and ran a song writing workshop with some of the kids! He was such a nice guy. Most importantly, I know that by being there, I was a mentor to at least one or two campers who needed a little hope... and that's exactly what this is all about.

Unfortunately I injured myself on day three. I was doing a synchronized swimming routine and I thought the pool was deeper than it was... and I jumped in really hard. I got a hairline fracture and contusion of the calcaneous. Ouch. I didn't let that stop me though and I hobbled along for the rest of the week. It could have been much worse! It is going to be about 6 weeks before I can walk properly. If kids can go to camp while on active chemo - I'm not going to let a little fracture stop me! What would my Ooch friends say?

"You only fail if you fail to try"... a motto I live by every single day.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

If you can stand up, that's surfing!

On January 12th CanTeen Bay of Plenty had their monthly activity - SURFING - at Mount Maunganui. I've only tried surfing twice in my life. The first time was quite exciting and I was keen to learn. I spent most of my day just paddling out and riding waves in on my tummy pushing myself up onto my knees. It was challenging to say the least. I would guess it would be much easier learning to surf when you're young and nimble.

The second time I went surfing I experienced my first washing machine effect. That's what they call it when you get dumped by a big wave and you get disoriented under the water and have no idea which way is up. You usually swallow buckets of salt water in the process so that when you finally do surface, you are coughing and sputtering. It's really scary.






This was my third surfing attempt, nearly 3 years after my last. I am much more flexible now that I've been doing yoga for a year and a half so I figured it might be a tad easier. Plus we were renting these MASSIVE boards for first time learners... so it HAD to be easier! Dan, the Member Support Manager for Waikato/BOP gave us all a few pointers and we practiced going from lying to standing on our boards on the sand. That seemed easy enough...

So off we trodded into the rolling waves - perfect for learning how to surf. They were big enough to catch but small enough that if you fell off you wouldn't experience the washing machine. Now let me just say that although the waves look teensy... when one is approaching... it looks really big! I do not know how serious surfers get the courage to tackle those massive tubes. I can't even imagine what the washing machine would feel like when you get dumped by a wave that size!

When you're first learning to surf, the key is to try to get up on your knees and ride the wave. Eventually graduating to getting up on your feet. This isn't as easy as it sounds. First you have to paddle out and wait for the right wave. It takes patience. Sometimes you see surfers sitting out on their boards waiting for the perfect wave for AGES! Once you see that wave, you have to start paddlling like mad so that you "catch" it. If you miss it, you will have to wait for the next one... which could take ages again. Once you catch the wave, you then have to try to push yourself up while keeping the board steady. It's strange doing this on a moving board... and it's easy to get freaked out and fall off.

Now when that happens it is VERY important that you know where your surfboard is AT ALL TIMES. I learned this the hard way... because I popped up in front of my board and it hit me smack on the bridge of my nose! It hurt like a bun of a sitch... but I didn't want to make a scene in front of the CanTeeners or make them scared. I literally saw stars... and my nose started bleeding but I just carried on and made light of it... but I had such a headache. It's funny how strong you can be when you want to! If I was there with a friend I probably would have cried. I'm really lucky that I didn't knock any teeth out or break my nose. I hit it hard enough that I actually shifted the septum... but I was able to get it back into place. Don't ask how.

Surfing takes patience to learn but I can see how you can become addicted to the feeling you get riding a wave. Unfortunately for me, by the time I got through all of the steps... steadying myself, pushing up onto my knees, then feet... the wave was over and there was no more momentum pushing my board so I'd fall off just as I was standing up! Frustrating!!! Next time will be better.

Blues, Brews and BBQ's

,

It is the drink of men who think
And feel or fear nor fetter -

Who do not drink to senseless sink,

But drink to think the better.


I'm feeling better. My cough is almost gone. It's time to get back out onto the social scene and what better way to start than a day out at one of the Mount's most popular events - Blues, Brews and BBQ's!

It was held on January 8th from 2pm-10pm. This was the 14th annual B,B&B - all profits from the festival are made available for donation to local community groups, charities and for youth activities making the Western Bay of Plenty a better place to live. A great reason to go out and contribute to the community!

Blues, Brews & BBQ's is a celebration of everything that is unique about the traditional Kiwi summer lifestyle; their love of outdoor cooking, great music and enjoying a fine ale or two with good friends and family. It's no wonder that it's described as an extravaganza of great music, fine ales and culinary cuisine! Let me tell you, the food was incredible! All we did was eat - ALL DAY LONG! Here I am tasting Kangaroo, Wild Crocodile and Ostrich skewers for the first time. They were really tasty! Kangaroo was a little chewy but it wasn't as gamey as I expected. I've heard that crocodile tastes similar to chicken but my opinion is that it didn't have a strong flavour at all and a firm fish texture. Ostrich was DELICIOUS! It was tender, juicy and had a really great flavour.

They had an incredible variety of food - wild pork sandwiches, whitebait fritters, mexican food, wood fired pizzas, lamb shanks, butter chicken, German soft pretzels and sausages... just to name a few. Check out this Paella - cooked on site including king prawns, mussels, calamari, baby octopus, chicken, sausages and bacon. OMG! So yummy!

B,B&B is the main fundraiser of the local service club - Tauranga Round Table - and through this they have been able to make a difference to many people in our community. This organization is comprised of a group of responsible men under the age of 45 (or so they claim to be responsible) with a strong sense of community spirit. Round Table offers opportunities for personal development, growing friendships, community involvement and promoting international understanding and goodwill. They are always looking for new members... so it might be something you'll consider doing in 2009. The president - Andrew Scott - is one of my clients.


Beer is one of the oldest drinks known to civilisations. It may even have been the cause of civilisation. Relics used for the production of beer have been dated back as far as 5000 years ago. The first beers are believed to have been made from bread, evidence of which has been found on stone drawings showing bread being baked and then crumbled into a drink that is recorded as having made people feel "exhilerated, wonderful and blissful". It was a great opportunity to taste premium beer made in some of the smaller microbreweries around the country. As a Canadian, I can really appreciate a fine lager. My favourite choice was this delicious Honey Beer...

A Quiet Festive Season

Phew, I'm getting there. Nearly caught up. Now I'm into 2009! Christmas and New Year passed without much excitement. I got tonsillitis mid-December and didn't finish my course of antibiotics... so just before Christmas the tonsillitis returned with avengence! My immune system was pretty run down so I also ended up getting bronchitis.

I managed to run the Christmas Eve Children's Service at church. It's my favourite service of the year - we dress the tree and the children learn the meaning of the decorations and the Christian connection to them. I dressed up as a beach angel and lead the service. It was loads of fun. Thanks to James who was my faithful sidekick and did all of the readings for the evening with his usual flair. A number of people told us it was the best Christmas Eve service they'd ever been to. I'm just sorry I don't have any photos.

I spent Christmas at home. The last thing I wanted to do was get anyone sick and I was not in a social mood. I needed rest. A few years ago the thought of spending Christmas alone would have depressed me but I actually enjoyed the solitude this year. I had a few invitations to Christmas dinner (thank you John and Bonnie) but I opted to stay home.

The same went for New Year's Eve. I was feeling even worse by then and my cough was dreadful. There were some good movies on television so I snuggled up on the couch and rang in the New Year quietly. I know this is going to be a great year.

Hope the same rings true for all of you.

Agrodome Adventures

There's a lot to catch you up on. I'm shocked at how lazy I've been at updating this... and now I'm making up for it! I want to catch up before I head to CanTeen National Camp this week because Lord knows, I'm gonna have lots to write about that!

So this entry is about our Bay of Plenty branch CanTeen trip to the Agrodome. I've said it time and again - CanTeen is an absolutely FANTASTIC organization supporting teenagers affected by cancer. I didn't have this kind of support when I was a kid growing up with cancer... it's invaluable. As a kid with cancer, you may not want to be different - but you ARE. Once you have cancer, you will NEVER be the same. It affects you in ways you can't even explain.


That's why CanTeen and organizations like it are so important. It is a place where other people "get it". You are no longer the only "special" one... because there is bound to be someone you'll meet who is even more amazingly strong than you. For a young person with cancer, this is an incredible relief. It's hard to explain... but I "get it".

So as I said earlier, I didn't have this kind of support when I was growing up... but I'm making up for lost time now. How fortunate I am - how BLESSED - to be a part of this! As an adult volunteer, I can experience all this awesomely cool stuff with the kids!

We meet every month and this time we were off to the Agrodome for some FUN! The Agrodome has loads of stuff to see and do - sort of like an amusement park but with extreme activities such as the freefall extreme (simulates the freefall feeling you get jumping out of a plane)...


The shweeb (a monorail rollercoaster that you peddle like a bicycle)...


The agrojet (a highspeed boat that races around a small course and scares the living bejesus out of you)...

And the swoop (a bungy drop in a body bag with up to three people).


I did the swoop with CanTeener Megan and Member Liason Co-ordinator Bex. Have a look at our photos in the next blog entry. Enjoy!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Swoop Series Shots

These are the photos of myself, Megan and Bex doing the swoop. Let me first say that Megan warned us that she was a screamer but she LOVES the swoop (she's done it a multitude of times - slightly addicted). Bex had never done it before and she was a little nervous. I've done it once but I absolutely LOVE rollarcoasters and the whole feeling of falling. When I am scared I laugh. It's my nervous reaction to fear. I screamed when the other two started screaming (I was in charge of pulling the rip cord) but then my screams turned into hysterical laughter. These photos are priceless.

We're getting secured in our body bags. It was all still very surreal at this stage. I'm not sure why I'm laughing so hard already... I think the guy was strapping me in and I was caught off guard when he fastened the strap between my crotch (like those lifejackets kids wear).


Megan is starting to psyche herself out. Bex is just totally oblivious because she's never done anything like this before... and we were still close to the ground. I am just thinking about how fun this is going to be.


The girls are getting a bit nervous now.


This is when the curse words start and the fear and panic set in. I'm starting to have second thoughts now. WHY was this fun?

PULL! OMG!!!

WE ARE GOING TO DIE!

Fear. Sheer fear. I'm sure you could hear the screaming all the way to Canada.


Now I start to laugh...


Hysterically.

Bex just realized how loudly Megan screams. My sides are splitting.



That wasn't so bad. Let's do it again!!! Look at Megan, she's such a little drama queen!

Happy Movember!

My Auntie Maureen came to visit me for a month in November. She is my mom's older sister and she lives in Oklahoma. She has recently retired so took the opportunity to visit her favourite niece on the other side of the planet. Smart move.

We have had an early summer. The month of November is always a bit of a crap shoot... you just never know what to expect. But this year boasted lots of sunshine and fantastic temperatures (not too hot, not too cool).



I live in such a great spot, it's easy to spend an entire month just cruising around down at the beach, walks around the Mount and exploring the shops in town. That's mostly what Mo did. She was content to just wander. We have a good bus system - they're called "Hopper" buses. You buy a hopper pass for the day and you can hop on and off as much as you'd like. It's a great way to get around (although I have yet to use them).

Unfortunately I am not independently wealthy so I had to work while Mo was here but luckily (or not) November wasn't overly busy so I had lots of free time to enjoy being a tourist again. I love being a tourist. It's one of my favourite things to do.

Rotorua is high on the tourist list. It's a short 45 minute drive from my place and it has lots of neat stuff to look at - the biggest draw of course being the natural geothermal activity. I took Mo down to a place called "Craters of the Moon" which used to be one of the only free geothermal walks. Not surprisingly, they have started charging a $5 entry fee. If someone can make money out of something as natural as the earth, they'll do it. I like Craters of the Moon because it's still a very basic walking trail (it's not overly touristy) and it's constantly changing. The land is very unstable in this area with new steam holes appearing daily. You have to stick to the path... otherwise you might stumble into a boiling hot mud pit like this.

Another day we took a drive out to Waitomo to see the popular Waitomo Caves and the glowworms that inhabit the caves. Unfortunately I don't have any photos of these glowworms (too difficult to photograph) so you'll just have to come and have a look for yourself. It's a spectacle not to be missed. Imagine taking a boat trip in complete darkness and silence, the only sound is the water lapping the sides of the boat, and above your head is the most incredible light show you've ever seen. The glowworm is actually not a worm at all, but the larva of a fly. After hatching, the baby flies excrete sticky threads to make a "hammock" and "fishing lines". One each of the 70 lines (1-50cm long) is a drop of shiny stuff - the worm's waste product, lit up by the light of the bioluminescent larva itself. Withe the brightness of one-billionth of a watt, it is one of the most efficient wayf of producing light. After months of trolling with poo, the glowworm undergoes metamorphosis and becomes and adult fly.

Evolution was so busy figuring out how to make the glowworm's stool shine, however, that it forgot to help the worm develop a digestive tract. After only a day or two of adult life - flying, mating, and laying eggs - the fly dies of starvation (or from being oversexed). Tragic really. Being a worm would be the highlight of their life. So when you gaze up in awe of the dimly blueish stars of the cave's ceiling, you remember that the speck of light is a maggot fishing for its lunch with a glob of excrement. Ain't nature grand?

We also walked along paths through these fascinating caves and learned all about the beautiful stalagmite and stalagtites and other various cave formations and fossils.

On our way home we stopped in to catch up with Poppy Dick and Jocelyn who live in Omokoroa. I haven't seen them since last year when we met them on our camping trip down to Mokau. It was lovely to see them again.

Auntie Mo had a great trip. I wish I had more time to take her to more places but she was pretty happy with the things she got to see and do. She took a day trip to Matamata where they filmed parts of the Lord Of The Rings and where you can do tours of Hobbiton. She also spent a weekend down in Rotorua where there is a multitude of stuff to see and do. Natalya and Chantelle live there now so we all met up with Auntie Mo at a nature park called Rainbow Springs. There are a lot of native birds, plants and reptiles as well as a Kiwi enclosure which allows you to view Kiwi birds in natural surroundings foraging for grubs. Kiwis are nocturnal birds so you never see them in the wild. They are such fascinating little creatures.

Friday, January 16, 2009

White Island Tours

I forget that some of you rely on this blog to keep up to date on what I am doing with myself. I have gotten lazy with only updating my facebook (but know that quite a few of you don't have a facebook account).

So I am going to write a few short blog updates to fill you in on the exciting stuff happening here... and lemme tell you... it's always exciting in my life!

Auntie Maureen and I had some good adventures together. The best one was probably our day trip to White Island off the coast of Whakatane (pronounced "fuck-a-tan-y") which is a 45 minute drive from my house. White Island is New Zealand's only active marine volcano.

We enjoyed a six hour eco-adventure tour aboard PeeJay yacht tours. It was a stunning day. I highly recommend doing this.

Once we reached the Island we had to board a smaller zodiac which ferried us in to the dock.

White Island is much like being on the moon... but it's really hot and smells like sulphur. It was an ever evolving landscape of hissing fumaroles, lava bombs, glittering crystals, unusual rock formations and hot thermal streams. These streams were highly acidic... how do I know? Well my curiosity got the better of me and I put my hands in it and then scratched my eye. D'oh! That burned for a while.

We were given gas masks to help us breathe when the acidity was too much. High levels of sulphur dioxide isn't the healthiest stuff to breath... and it makes you cough and sputter. The taste reminded me of chemotherapy! It's interesting how you never forget something like that. I remember tasting the chemical as soon as it entered my bloodstream. I wonder if I could have just spent a year on White Island?

It was such a wonderous place. We explored the ruins of the historic sulphur mining factory and learned about the catastophes and the eruption that killed 12 men and ultimately lead to the demise of the mining operation. There is something very daunting about wandering around a live volcano... like you never know if it's going to blow. The eruptions last approximately 1 1/2 minutes but the volocity of the blow is like a bomb going off. Massive boulders fly through the air like bullets. Something tells me our hard hats wouldn't really protect us much.

As we walked along the guided path I felt an odd sensation on my arms.... like prickles poking me. I wondered whether it was the hot sun and if I needed more sunscreen... but the guide told me it was just a bit of acid rain. Nice. It was like being a kid back in my home town of Sudbury Ontario in the good old days before the smoke stack. No wonder I got cancer.

The best part of the tour was reaching the crater lake in the centre. The water was bright blue with a ph-1 and a temperature of 75 degrees celcius. If we ever had a tsunami and sea water reached the crater, the explosion would be disasterous.


This was an absolutely fantastic day out. We were very lucky with the weather. I would definitely recommend it! That's another thing I can tick off my list of things to do before I die!