The Apocalypse

The day everyone has been talking about has come and gone barely noticeable to most.  21/12/12.  But I felt it.  I could feel it coming.  And now that it's gone, I feel a tremendous weight lifted.

I have just finished my first course in Astrology taught by an amazing woman by the name of Harsha Rigney. After the year I've had, my open minded alternative thinking doctor suggested I see Harsha and get my birth charting done.  

I gave her my birth details and the exact time of birth and Harsha is then able to put together a map of my life and clearly see what my personality is like and the direction my life is meant to take.  Harsha confirmed many things about myself that I knew but perhaps was confused about.  Seeing her really helped me to relax and worry less about my direction.  It's all mapped out in the stars, as they say.  This isn't witchery.  This is science and math.  I find the whole thing fascinating.  So I signed up for her Astrology course to learn more.  

We have pretty much accepted that we are affected by the moon.  The tides are affected by the moon and since we are 90% water, so we must be affected by the moon as well.  Rest homes and psyche wards at hospitals come alive on a full moon.  But what about the other planets?  They affect us too.  

First communion - little bride of Jesus

At the moment Saturn and Uranus are creating a lot of havoc.  Big things are happening.  It is stirring up a lot.  This is the shift in consciousness that everyone is talking about.  It's happening.

This information is controversial and although I believe in Jesus and Christianity, I also believe in Buddhist philosophies as well.  I have never been one to follow one particular dogma.  I take what I want, that which makes sense to me and I follow it.  I meditate and pray on whatever questions I have and I always find my answer.  I have a lot of faith but science goes a long way too.

As I was researching I came across this interesting information from  2012apocalypse.net

The Mayan grand cycle of evolution will culminate on December 21, 2012 AD. The 2012 Apocalypse.


The Mayans viewed 'time' and 'dates' as a meshing spiritual cycles. The Mayan calendar was sacred and religious, each day had it's own patron spirit.
This time now has many names "The Time of Trial on Earth," "Judgement Day," "The Time of Great Purification," "The End of this Creation," "The Quickening," "The End of Time as We Know It," "The Shift of the Ages," "The Apocalypse" and "Armageddon".

My photo from this year's Solar Eclipse

As keen stargazers, the ancient Maya were familiar with astrological cycle we call the Precession of the Equinoxes. This is close to a 26,000 year cycle in which Earth passes through each of the 12 signs of the zodiac for 2000-2152 years each. Each of these astrological ages represents one month of the Cosmic Year.
 
The Mayans were known worldwide for their architectural, artistic, mathematical and scientific achievements. With great attention to detail they constructed stone monuments and pyramids with precise computations. Built with purpose, these dates were left to ensure that future generations would be alerted to the end point of this great 26,000 year cycle - The 2012 Apocalypse.

A cycle which corresponds also to a 26,000 year relationship of our Sun orbiting Alcyone, the central star of the 7 Sisters Pleiades constellation. According to the Maya, the "future" which lies beyond this end date is literally a new world age - a new creation - an Apocalypse.
 
The Mayans believed that December 21, 2012 AD is the culmination of a series of events over time that leads to towards an the ultimate spiritual awakening of the world ( The 2012 Apocalypse ). They believe the changes are underway and will continue steadily accelerating as we head towards this date.

Example of a birth chart

Sunspot Cycles; Adrian Gilbert and Maurice Cotterell, in their book The Mayan Prophecies, say that the end of the Great Cycle is the culmination of a series of long-term sunspot cycles which will flip the sun’s magnetic field, causing earthquakes and flooding on earth and an apocalypse in the year 2012.

The Mayan King Pacal Voltan was known for his prophecies and was known for his knowledge of numbers. Pacal Voltan speaks about the end of the world on December 21, 2012, a year which many believe is the year of the apocalypse.
Part of the 2012 mystique stems from the stars:

On the winter solstice in 2012, the sun will be aligned with the center of the Milky Way for the first time in about 26,000 years. This means that "whatever energy typically streams to Earth from the center of the Milky Way will indeed be disrupted on 12/21/12 at 11:11 p.m. Universal Time," according to Lawrence Joseph.
Others believe gravitational, magnetic, and solar energies will go awry when this galactic and planetary alignment occurs, causing an array of natural disasters, including the weakening of our magnetic field, allowing solar radiation to penetrate our atmosphere and the 2012 Apocalypse.

The 2012 Apocalypse Into The Age of Aquarius ?

My Birth Chart

The ruler of Aquarius is Uranus. Its symbol represents water, a universal image which dates back into prehistory. This will also be recognized in the egyptian hieroglyph representing the same. The association in Aquarius is that of the servant of humanity pouring out the water of knowledge to quench the thirst of the world.

To create this age of beauty and splendor after the year 2012, one has to destroy. When we can clearly observe the zodiacal sign of Aquarius, this is the dawn of a new age. Aquarius is the house of Uranus and Saturn.

Uranus is a revolutionary, terrible, catastrophic planet. Saturn, reminds us of chaos, the return to the point of original departure.

Undoubtedly the Transition from the Age of Pisces, our present age, to The Age of Aquarius will be earth shattering. Pisces, the Fish, has come to symbolize the age of Christianity.

Is The Age of Pisces symbolic of The great world Savior, Jesus Christ, coming to an end? With the arrival of the Aquarian Age, does humanity begins its "entrance into heaven" ~ the Spiritual Kingdom? Does the water bearer water the earth for growth after its destruction and baptize the survivors with love knowledge enlightenment? Cleanse the people of old ways and truth.

Or...
Will the Age of Aquarius signal the loss of belief in Christianity and a transition another belief?

Many have predicted a "Golden Age" into the early part of the New Millenium. They believe that the Age of Aquarius with all its splendor and beauty has to fully manifest beyond 2012. It is believed that humanity will go through a radical transformation after the year 2012.

The 2012 Apocalypse is the transition of the ages. A point of destruction and near annihilation which transitions into a world of spirituality never experienced on earth. World peace after a costly lesson for mankind and its creatures.

Interesting huh?

One of the things that Harsha said to me when she did my birthchart floored me.  

She said that according to my chart, I was in a traditional marriage in a past life.  This marriage was arranged, it was loveless but I devoted my whole life to that man.  I sacrificed my own happiness to a life of misery without any physical love or connection.  This would explain my hesitation to commit myself to another long term partnership, why my relationships have been passionate and short lived and why I'm still single.  She said that I'm not looking for love in that traditional way, someone to just "be" with to avoid being alone.  I'm looking for something earth shattering and real.  Someone who sees the light in my soul, is my true life partner and makes me an even better human being.  It will come.

Saying that, in my chart she could see that I am likely to meet that man, my husband from my past, again in this life and that I will marry him.  We will feel an instant recognition.  It will happen quick, and it will be a short marriage - because it needed to END in order to break that karmic cycle.  Only then I will be completely free and fully able to receive true love.

Good bye bad karma.  Hello happiness.

My jaw dropped.  She didn't know that I'd just done that.  I married that man on 11/11/11 at 11am.  He walked out of my life 5 months later and I have not seen him or heard from him since.  If you haven't read that story, you can read it here.

So according to the stars.  Armageddon has happened in my life.  I've completed my "Full Time Trial".  I've come full circle.  Bride at the age of 7 for new beginnings (and Jesus), bride at the age of 37 for new life (and husband from past life).  The good stuff starts now, the only way to go is up, up up.  

Diving the Rainbow Warrior

The stunning Cavalli Islands

Last weekend my friend Edine and I drove up to Paihia in New Zealand's subtropical Northland.  The drive from Mount Maunganui took us approximately 7 hours - but it was so worth it.

We stayed with friends of Edine's (and now mine) who spend their summers in a little harbourside village called Opua.  Cindy is a fellow Canadian, from Vancouver Island, and she is married to her Kiwi husband Terry.  They are amazing people.  They opened their home to us as if we were their family.  

The reason for our trip was to dive the wreck of the famous Greenpeace Rainbow Warrior, which just so happens to be Canadian (I would like to add).

In 1985 New Zealand was basking in its position as leader of the anti-nuclear movement. As a country it had clearly punched above its weight. Then, just before midnight on the evening of 10 July two explosions ripped through the hull of the Greenpeace flagship Rainbow Warrior, which was moored at Marsden Wharf in Auckland. A Portuguese crew member, Fernando Pereira, was killed in the explosions. The Rainbow Warrior had been involved in protests over French nuclear testing in the Pacific. French Secret Service (DGSE) agents were sent to prevent it leaving for another protest campaign at Mururoa Atoll.

Two DGSE officers, Dominique Prieur and Alain Mafart, were arrested on 24 July. Having been charged with murder, both pleaded guilty to manslaughter and were sentenced to 10 years' imprisonment. The case was a source of considerable embarrassment to the French government. While the attack was on an international organisation and not the New Zealand nation as such, most New Zealanders did not make such a distinction. The fact that the attack was carried out on New Zealand territory by a supposed friend produced a sense of outrage and a serious deterioration in relations between New Zealand and France.

France used its influence to threaten New Zealand's access to the important European Economic Community market, and New Zealand exports to France were boycotted. New Zealanders reacted in a similar manner to French imports. Eventually, both countries agreed to allow the United Nations to mediate a settlement.

Almost a year after the bombing, on 8 July 1986, United Nations Secretary General Javier Perez de Cuellar announced, in a binding decision, that New Zealand would receive an apology and compensation of $13 million from France. France was also ordered not to interfere with New Zealand's trade negotiations.

Dominique Prieur and Alain Mafart were to serve their sentences in full on Hao Atoll in French Polynesia. In what was considered to be the final insult, both were released early: Alain Marfart returned to France because of 'illness' in 1987, while Dominique Prieur was repatriated in May 1988 because she was pregnant. Both were honoured, decorated and promoted upon their return home.

This incident did much to promote what was described as New Zealand's 'silent war of independence' and was central to an upsurge in New Zealand nationalism. There was a sense of having to 'go it alone' as traditional allies such as the United States and Britain sat on their hands while France worked to block New Zealand exports. The failure of Britain and the United States to condemn this act of terrorism hardened support for a more independent foreign policy line.

On its bow she proudly carried a dove of peace carrying an olive branch – never leaving any doubt about her non-violent mission. All around her hull, there were the striking colours of the rainbow.

Greenpeace is an international environmental organisation founded in Canada in 1971. It is well known for its campaigns to stop nuclear testing and whaling, as well as its stand on other environmental issues such as bottom trawling, global warming, ancient forest destruction and genetic engineering. The organisation's official mission statement says that:

'Greenpeace is an independent, campaigning organisation which uses non-violent, creative confrontation to expose global environmental problems, and to force solutions for a green and peaceful future. Greenpeace's goal is to ensure the ability of the earth to nurture life in all its diversity.'

Two years after the bombing, on December 12th 1987, the Rainbow Warrior was refloated, towed out to just off the Cavalli Islands and scuttled in 30 metres of water.  Today she has formed an artificial reef which is an ever growing host to marine life. The wreck is splendid with many coloured anemones clinging to the rails and provides a home to schools of Golden Snapper, Kingfish and John Dory. Divers flock to dive on one of the world's most famous wrecks. 

The Rainbow Warrior was named after a North American Cree Indian prophecy: “When the world is sick and dying, the people will rise up like Warriors of the Rainbow…”  This prophesies that when man has destroyed the world through his greed the Warriors of the Rainbow will rise again to save it.  I absolutely love this.  The Rainbow Warrior reminds us still that this world needs to change.  It’s a spirit that will always live on.

We went out with Paihia Dive - I'd highly recommend them to anyone.  It was an amazing dive and the staff were professional and relaxed.

We had a stunning day for it and there were only 6 of us on the boat.  I was feeling a bit apprehensive about doing a dive so early in the season but my new wetsuit kept me nice and warm.  We descended to 28 metres with visibility of up to 10 metres.  The colours of the anemones were a true testament to it's name.   In it's grave, the Rainbow Warrior is breathtaking.

Diving is meditation in motion.  It creates a deep sense of serenity and peace.  I'm happiest under the sea.  It feels like flying.   I love the quiet, listening only to my breath and the bubbles I breathe as I exhale.  I'm almost certain it lowers my blood pressure.  I instantly feel calm but at the same time I can feel the adrenalin surge.  I feel so alive swimming with fish.  I must be a mermaid.

My little friend Dory

I was in awe of the fish life living inside of the ship.  At one stage a fish like Dory from Finding Nemo came to check me out.  I just stared into it's eyes for ages, I swear it was communicating with me.  It made me rethink whether I should be eating fish.   I felt quite emotional looking into this fish's eyes.  I may need to go vegan.  My dive master reckons I was experiencing narcosis which slows mental and physical reactions and makes you feel drunk.  She said I had a huge smile on my face the entire time.  I have to admit, I was in heaven.  We saw puffer fish, scorpion fish, pig fish, big eyes, two spot demoiselle, red moki, porae, blue mao mao, sandagger rasse, John Dory and moray eels.   Edine and I were lucky enough to see a stingray right at the end of our second dive because we still had air left while the others had to go back to the boat.  

We stopped at a beach for lunch before our second dive.  There were already people there, they were a young couple from Auckland sailing around for a few days.  He gave us a proper native greeting.  

The Natives are friendly

I am constantly in awe of this country and what it has to offer.  It's stunningly beautiful and it's not over populated.  People come here for the lifestyle, not the money.  It takes my breath away.  It's a place where you can just forget the rest of the world and the craziness that is happening out there.  It's like living in a happiness bubble.

So when we finished our day out diving, we got back to Cindy and Terry's place and started making dinner when Terry came in and asked if we'd like to go out sailing on a yacht for the night.  Edine  and I looked at each other briefly before saying "Yes" in unison.  There was no time for showers or dinner, we packed for the night and headed down to the marina where Darren and his daughter Jordan were waiting for us.  

What an amazing day.  We are so lucky to be here.

Now onto our next adventure...

Darren and Jordan greeting us with cold beer.

This is the first time I've ever been out on a yacht overnight.  Darren and his family own a company in Opua called "The Great Escape" which hires out yachts and runs 5 day yachting experiences where you learn how to sail and then get to take the boats out on your own.  Bloody great way to spend a week.

But for Edine and I, this was an amazing day.  Diving the Rainbow Warrior and finishing with a sail around the Cavalli Islands and anchoring in a beautiful bay for the night.  We got back the next morning, enjoyed breakfast overlooking Opua harbour with our hosts and then set off on our 7 hour journey home.  

Three days was a perfect mini break away from routine.  I love road trips.  Edine was the DJ and we sang at the top of our lungs.  Girl road trips are the best.  

As much as I love my life, I still need the occasional reminder just how amazing it is.  I get caught up with what I don't have sometimes.  Opportunities like this snap me out of that pretty quick.  I often think about how nice it would be to have someone in my life to share these moments with, but the truth is, these experiences are for me right now.  I deserve them.  My relationships have always been so draining, mainly because I allowed them to be.  My career is based around giving to others and I've got to balance it out by being available to get back.   It's not my time to share with just one person yet.   The universe has been pretty clear about that.

Sailing into the sunset.

This was just what I needed.  Spontaneity is the best.

12 Years of Travels to wrap up 2012

Here's a little video montage of places I've travelled over the past 12 years beginning with my first trip backpacking across Europe alone in 1998, finishing with Fiji in 2010.  

I'll never forget the time I was waiting to catch a bus in Hungary, a tall business man stopped to ask me if I was traveling alone.  I proudly exclaimed, "Yes I am!" with a big smile.  He asked me, "But aren't you scared of people?"  

The thought had not once crossed my 23 year old mind.

I made this video two years ago and just came across it on you tube.  I'd better make a new one with the last two years of traveling (England, Greece, Australia, Niue).

A rolling stone gathers no moss.
Home is an interesting concept.
What makes a place home?
It's where the heart is.
My heart is in so many places.

 

Growing Up a Valley Kid in the 1980's

I grew up in a small Northern Ontario town called Hanmer, north of Sudbury with a population of about 10,000 people.  It was divided between French and English.  The kids who went to French school didn't often associate with the kids who went to English school.  My dad was French and my mom was English.  I went to English school because my brothers and sisters went there.

Fifth Birthday - no French kids that year!  

I played with anyone, I didn't care what their main language was.  My birthday fell at the end of summer which meant most of my school friends were enjoying the last long weekend of the holiday so had to invite the French kids to my birthday parties.  It was strange being the odd man out at your own birthday.  It was nice of them to come but since we only hung out once a year I wasn't in their circle.  I'd watch them play the games speaking French to each other while I topped up their glasses of orange Fanta.  Everyone knows, the French love a good party.

Growing up in Hanmer in the 80's was pretty amazing.  It was also known as Valley East.  We were "Valley Kids".  We had ultimate freedom.  The neighbourhoods were generally safe, kids were free to roam.  There were acres of bush land to explore.  One of my favourite things to do was to play in the bush with my best friend Laura. We'd build forts and set traps for the imaginary Indians.  We played for hours out there with no one knowing where we were or what we were doing.  It was our own private world that we didn't share with adults.

We'd hop on our bikes and ride for miles through a series of dirt tracks in the bush which were made by dirt bike riders (and in the winter time, snowmobile tracks).  These were called the monkey trails.  There was an element of fear and thrill, you could easily get lost in the monkey trail maze.  We loved the idea of someone sending a search party for us.  We'd pick wild blueberries and raspberries, pack a picnic, our Barbie dolls, and play all day out there.  Not a care in the world.

Laura and I at the age of 13 hitch hiked into the city.

Laura and I were pretty creative.  We didn't spend a lot of time indoors unless we were choreographing dances which we would perform on the front lawn for people out on their evening walk, we'd insist they they stop to watch. We would hold random craft markets where we'd sell our handmade macrame plant holders and bracelets.  We had a lemonade stand.  We'd decorate our bikes, recruit other kids and have parades around the neighbourhood.  We even dressed up on random occasions and went trick or treating in the middle of April.  That was our most ingenious idea ever.  Why suffer from sugar withdrawal when we can entertain for candy?  It was hard to resist our charm.  We were unique kids full of ideas.  I was the ring leader which won't surprise any of you who know me.  I was Batgirl, Laura was Robin.  Our parents didn't drive us anywhere like kids today, if we wanted to go somewhere we had to figure it out for ourselves.  At the age of 13 we started hitch hiking into Sudbury on Saturday mornings (I don't think our parents knew where we were).  We'd dress up in our coolest clothes and spend the day hanging out at Sudbury Shopping Mall.  We were pretty cool, at least we thought we were.

Laura went to French Immersion - both her parents were English but they wanted their girls to learn to speak French.  I went to the English Catholic school down the road - St. Anne's.  It was a great school.  I loved my teachers.  I loved school, period.  I was a straight A student but I rarely studied.  I was Valedictorian of my class.  Some people thought I was teacher's pet - and maybe I was.  I respected my teachers and it made me feel really good being reliable and conscientious.  I guess I'd be classified as a brown noser.

8th Grade Graduation - Pretty in Pink

My oldest sister taught me to sew.  She was an amazing seamstress herself.  I learned to make my own clothes.  The pink dress I wore to Graduation was the first fancy dress I made.  I hand beaded it and everything.  I was very proud of it.  I'm so lucky I had my sister.  She was the only person who kept an eye on me, she was my main role model.   She instilled a sense of decorum and style.  She used to dress me up like a doll and do my hair and make up like one of those little perverse beauty pageant entries they have in the USA.  I loved it.

But it wasn't all roses growing up with so much freedom.  It not a nice feeling being invisible and having no rules.  Boundaries and rules give you a sense of security. It was standard for me to come home from school to an empty house on a Friday afternoon, leave a note for my mom to tell her that I was at Laura's and I wouldn't come home until Sunday night.  This was at just 8 years old.  Prior to that age, my brothers and sisters were there but as they became teenagers I hardly saw them.  My mom worked to support 5 kids on her own.  To me this was normal.  She worked hard to put food on the table and I took it for granted that she gave me practically anything I asked for.  We didn't have much.  She always put our needs first.  She drank to hide her sadness.  A lot of my friend's parents drank.  That was also somewhat normal.  They didn't all fall asleep in the chair in the living room without making dinner... that set me apart from the rest.

Me and Al 1986

My best school friend was Allison.  I loved going to Al's place for weekend sleepovers.  Thinking back, I wasn't home much on weekends, I was always sleeping over somewhere. Allison's mom and dad were really fun and they treated me like I was part of the family.  I thought Al was so lucky.  They had a lot of parties which meant Al and I could to do anything we wanted.  We'd often stay up late watching movies that were inappropriate for our age.  I watched every scary 80's horror film at Al's house.  Allison had very few rules too.  Her parents trusted her implicitely and gave her the freedom to make her own choices.  The main differences between us was she had a dad and her parents openly adored her and drove her absolutely everywhere.  They took me and Al to Canada's Wonderland on a day trip.  It was 3 hours one way.  Unheard of in my world.  Allison's parents were fun drunks, vastly different from my mom who drank in her chair and passed out.

Laura's parent's were strict and I was intimidated by her dad, not because he was mean, in fact he was generous and very good to me.  I just wasn't used to strong male figures.  We had to do what he said, I couldn't get away with anything there and I tried, oh I tried!  I used to get Laura into so much trouble!  Bless her.  I think she spent half her summers grounded because of me.  Her dad often forbade her from hanging out with me, but we'd sneak around behind his back so he gave up trying.

My mom was lucky, because I was such a social kid, I was often invited to stay for dinner and weekends with friends.  It was an amazing way to grow up.  I was everyone's foster child.  I had motivation for this.  I was looking for love.

Sleepover at my house.  

As I said, children need boundaries to feel secure.  Having that kind of freedom left me openly vulnerable.  I was targeted by older boys who thought I was cute and who would bully me into doing things I didn't want to do.  I was abused by a number of babysitters in my younger years.

My first sitter, our next door neighbour, used to look after me when I finished my half day at kindergarten.  I would get off the bus and walk to her house for lunch.  My mom specifically told her that I liked peanut butter and jam sandwiches and that the only thing I would not eat was mushroom soup.  For two years that woman gave me mushroom soup for lunch.  While she was watching the Price is Right in the other room, I'd allow the soup to cool and then I'd pour it down my pants.  Why I chose to pour it down my pants and not down the drain, I don't know.  I didn't want to leave any evidence and risk punishment.  I'd excuse myself quickly before the soup ran down my leg,   I'd go home, change my clothes and play outside until my mom came home from work. This happened daily from the age of 4.  I thought I'd get in trouble for not eating my lunch so I didn't say anything to my mom.  I thought she knew, and I was getting away with it without getting a spanking. I could never understand why this lady blatantly ignored my mom's instructions.  Maybe she heard my mom wrong.  Or maybe she thought she'd convert me into a mushroom soup lover. I know it sounds odd, how I didn't say anything or tell my mom that I wasn't eating my lunch. I was afraid.  I was taught to eat what was put in front of me.  I sat for many hours staring at cold food (especially at Laura's house).  We weren't allowed to move from the table until it was all gone.  It was easier to pretend, hide the evidence, say thank you and leave.  I got good at sneaking food into my underwear or my big chipmunk cheeks.  At home, I just had to wait until my mom was asleep in her chair and then flush the evidence down the toilet.

I built the snowman but invited the French kids over for a photo.

Another babysitter used to punish me regularly by locking me in a bedroom for hours and hours.  Sometimes she'd lock her psychotic son in there with me and he'd bite me.  I'd often pee my pants, out of fear and the fact that the door was locked and we couldn't get out to use the bathroom.  Then she'd spank me... but it wasn't just a spanking.  It left welts. I didn't tell my mom about this either.  I thought she knew.  I seriously thought this babysitter told my mom how bad I was and my mom was okay with it.  I had an active, creative imagination to escape the reality.  I wanted to be anywhere but where I was.  This is when I began to meditate.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.  I learned from an early age I had to rely on myself.

Decades later I spoke to my mom about these incidences.  As you can imagine, I was pretty upset with her for leaving me with incompetent people.  But talking to her made me realize she really had no idea.  She was desperate to find anyone willing to look after me while she went to work.  She didn't have much money to pay and these sitters were cheap.  I asked, "Didn't you notice the mushroom soup in my clothes?"  She said she thought I was a messy eater.  She also thought I had separation anxiety.   She admitted she didn't like leaving me with sitters and was glad when I made my own babysitting arrangements.

Playing in the mud age 3.

It didn't make me a victim.  In fact, it made me incredibly resilient and resourceful.  I would not be where I am today if I didn't grow up the way I did.  I'm grateful for every lesson life threw at me.

I often talk to friends of mine who say that they envy my natural sense of freedom and the fact that I picked up and moved to the other side of the world.  They would love to do it, but they can't leave their family or the familiar comforts they grew up with.  Some friends even have parents who would make them feel guilty for leaving.  This is where I'm grateful for being raised to be independent.  My mother may have been negligent at times but she did the best she could given her own personal circumstance.  She ended up giving me the greatest gift - freedom to experience life, good and bad.  This has allowed me to find my own path, draw up my own conclusions and live life how I want.  When I was 16 years old I wrote in one of my journals that I wanted to live in Paradise.  A place where it never snowed but I could still go skiing on a mountain.  I visualized it and now here I am living the dream.

I choose to hold onto the good memories.  I had an amazing childhood.  I was given wings to fly... and look how far those wings have carried me!

Bigger Doesn't Mean Better

Yesterday I completed my final assessment with Te Wananga o Aotearoa Certificate in Small Business Management (CSBM).

Established in 1984, Te Wānanga o Aotearoa provides holistic education opportunities of the highest quality for Māori, peoples of Aotearoa and the world.  It is one of New Zealand's largest tertiary education providers offering a comprehensive range of certificate to degree level qualifications to New Zealanders of all ages and walks of life.

Guided by Māori principles and values, they really take great pride in this nurturing and inclusive learning environment, as well as the depth and diversity of their courses in small business, computing, social work, teaching, Māori performing arts and te reo Māori.

Te Wānanga o Aotearoa has provided a fresh and vibrant alternative within the New Zealand tertiary education sector for 25 years, enhancing the skills and employment opportunities of more than 50,000 graduates.

In my course we covered:

•   business planning processes in the New Zealand business environment
•   business law, including legal terms and concepts and preparing a legal plan
•  marketing, including principles and concepts which can be applied to real-life situations
•  people management, including employment and staff development
•  small business accounting, including business mathematics and accounting concepts (e.g., cashbooks and filing GST returns)
•  ‘the financial plan’, including taxation, budgeting, sourcing finance and implementing financial policies and procedures into a business. 

Our class having lunch together on our last day. 

It was a 36 week course done part-time.  My teacher Ra Winiata was just incredible.  An incredible human being with a passion for small business and helping people achieve their goals.  I call him Ra Ra Ra because he was our cheerleader.  

I have run a business for 18 years without any knowledge of what I could do better.  This course helped me to discover my personal and business strengths and the things that cause me the most stress.   My strengths are definitely in marketing, real life concepts and strategic planning.   Thinking about money and conducting research on what other people are doing with their business causes me stress.  I don't want to know what other people do.  I don't see the point.  Their path is different to mine so what does it matter what they're doing?  The end goal is different.  And in regards to money, I always do quite well applying simplistic logic to the art of making money.  I decide what I want and then I achieve it without going into debt.  

What I really need is a large sum of money so that I don't have to THINK about money and I can carry on doing what I love - healing, traveling and writing.  That will be my next goal.

I learned that business can be pretty ruthless.  People aren't afraid to steal ideas if it's going to make them money.  I learned this the hard way when I shared my long term goals with someone I thought was a friend.  She was an accountant for a big company so I thought I was talking business.  A few months later she started up her own business using my ideas.  I was absolutely blindsided.  It really threw me.  There's no such thing as friends in business sadly.  So knowing this, I've come to realize what I already knew.  I have no desire to be out there in that cut throat business environment.  I have been doing pretty well for someone who knew so little.  I have something that a lot of people don't have - common sense and survival skills.  I want to keep things simple.

I am happy ticking along earning enough money to pay my bills and live comfortably. Why would I want more than that?  It reminds me of that story about the American businessman and the Mexican Fisherman.

An American businessman was standing at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long it took you to catch them?” The American asked.

“Only a little while.” The Mexican replied.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family’s immediate needs.” The Mexican said.

“But,” The American then asked, “What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds you buy a bigger boat, and with the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

“Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own can factory. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO (Initial Public Offering) and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions.”

“Millions, senor? Then what?”

The American said slowly, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos…”

I love that story.  I am once again reminded why I moved to New Zealand in the first place.  It is so easy to get caught up in the treadmill of life.  That feeling of wanting more more more is apparently still haunting me!  

Taking this course reminded me that I can do anything.  I can achieve absolutely ANYTHING I put my mind to.  So if I want to live a semi-retired life then who's to say that isn't successful?  Apparently just me.   I know I need to stop comparing myself to others and just focus on what I want.

"If you can achieve your sales goals you have an excellent business Tracy. The challenge now is to find the passive income that will allow you to ease back from the physical demands of your current work in future - should you want to. I like your innovative thinking with the app that you are developing and you have a great skill in writing too. You are a woman of many talents and will do well in whatever you put your heart mind and soul into."       Ra Winiata 

Ta Ra!

Now this is the life.  Long weekends in Fiji.

My Confession by Ben Stein

I find that when I get on a role with writing, I just can't stop.  Even if it means sharing other people's brilliant thoughts and stories.

Here's one that I particularly love which my best friend posted on facebook.  I left North America for many reasons.  One of the main reasons was the loss of values and simple morals.  Something is lost but this gives me hope because other people feel it too.  Maybe it can be re-discovered.  God has become a dirty word.  It amazes me just how uncomfortable that word makes people feel.  Yet how many of us have heard little kids dropping the "f-bomb".  When I was a kid, you got your mouth washed out with soap!

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees, Christmas trees... I don't feel threatened.. I don't feel discriminated against.. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu . If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat...

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.
In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc.. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school... The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about.. And we said okay..

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein