The Art of Setting Boundaries

Back in May I started a course called "Positively Me for Women". It was a 6 week journey of self discovery - or in my case "rediscovery" because I've learned the tools but forgot how to use them. It was a powerful course and I highly recommend it to every woman (and man) out there. The course taught me how to be assertive without being aggressive and how to recognize patterns and behaviours that weren't healthy or productive. Our course leader Barb warned us that the people who were pushing our boundaries the most would probably not like the changes this course would bring. The week I finished the course, Brian walked out of my life.

I have just started a new course on "Boundaries". Today was the second class of eight. I am so excited about this course because I already know that I am well on the right path to finding the life that is going to be healthy and will allow me to be myself without guilt. I also have the perfect opportunity to practice the lessons I'm learning at work with the cook who is a major bully and seems to use me as target practice. Some lessons are hard to learn but I'm grateful for this opportunity to fine tune my boundary setting skills.

I thought I'd share this poem that we were given today in the course. I absolutely love it.

On Being Yourself

You must learn that you cannot be loved by all people.
You can be the finest apple in the world - ripe, juicy, sweet, succulent
And offer yourself to all
But you must remember that there will be people who do not like apples.

You must understand that if you are the world's finest apple
And someone you love does not like apples
You have the choice of becoming a banana.

But you must be warned that if you choose to become a banana
You will be a second-rate banana.

BUT you can always be the finest apple.
You must always realize that if you choose to be a second-rate banana
There will be people who do not like bananas.

Furthermore, you can spend your life trying to become the best banana
Which is impossible, if you are an apple.

OR you can seek again to be the finest apple.


I love being an apple. I cannot and will never again try to be a banana.